SHINIGAMI
by Elspeth
Summary: quatre is dead but shinigami did not make that decision, now duo will risk everything even facing his father to get back his friend, but will heero be able to call him back from the darkness?
1. Default Chapter

SHINIGAMI  
  
  
Chapter one- gone  
  
The rain poured down hard, a silver shower of tears trying to wash the earth clean of blood and oil that had been spilled during the horrors that had occurred. Oz mobile suits littered the ground, mangled broken and dead, a grave yard of metal reflecting the endless leaden sky. The only thing more lifeless on the battle field that day were the eyes of four young men who now stood around the twisted, smoking wreck that had once been sand rock.  
  
Their angel was dead. Killed by a stray missile that had come from his own lover. Trowa replayed the scene over and over in his mind as he held the fragile form of quatre tight against his chest , believing that if he held him long enough, refused to believe what had happened that quatre would suddenly be alright. But it wasn't alright and it never would be Quatre was gone after surviving countless missions; hundreds of battles Quatre's end had been at the hands of not the enemy but the person he had loved and trusted most.  
  
Heero and Wufei felt they should say something, but as usual words failed them instead they turned to the one member of the group who never was at a loss for words, Duo, but this time the American was silent. Duo was staring at the ground his teeth gritted his fist clenching and unclenching, his frame physically shaking with pure rage. The Chinese and Japanese pilots exchanged worried glances before Wufei jerked his head in Duos direction motioning that Heero should speak to his partner. Heero shot Wufei a piercing glare before approaching the American and hesitantly placing a hand on Duos shoulder, hero was uncomfortable with public displays of concern or affection and wufei's eyes on him was not helping him relax any. He took a deep breath.  
  
"Duo are you all right" hero cringed once the words left his mouth fully expecting the American to yell at him for asking a dumb question.  
"I am Shinigami, god of death" Heero blinked this was not the reaction he had expected.  
"I am Shinigami god of death and Quatre is dead" all three remaining pilots were now looking at Duo strangely, Trowa glanced at Heero his red rimmed eyes seeking an answer to Duos behaviour. The Japanese boy shook his shoulders as confused as the others by Duos words, so puzzled was Heero that he had forgotten to remove his hand from the pilots shoulder.  
"Duo its ok…." Started Heero but was cut off when his hand was shaken off his friends shoulder and he was met with a pair of blazing violet eyes.  
  
"I am Shinigami god of death I decide who lives and who dies, yes, I, me" pure venom was behind every word that were hissed between clenched teeth and Heero backed away a few steps .Duo was now breathing hard his head down body shaking once more. Heero tried to calm him once again.  
"I know you say that's what you are but now is not really the time for games Duo…… you aren't really …" he was interrupted by hysterical laughter Duo was shaking with laughter. He raised his head fixing glowing shadowed eyes on his partner and shaking the rain water from his bangs. He flashed Heero a crazed smile, there was a word for the way duo looked right now, and it was demonic. For the first time in his life the Japanese boy felt the faint signs of fear as Duo began to advance on him.  
  
" ahh Heero" he said shaking his head as if speaking to a child " you really don't understand buddy, I am the Shinigami , the bringer of death, I decide who lives" he raised his left hand " and who dies " he raised his right before turning and pointing and the body of Quatre still cradled in Trowa's arms, Duos face suddenly lost the amused look and changed to one of blind fury" AND I DID NOT SAY QUATRE COULD DIE!!!" duo calmed down again and pushed the hair back off his face looking thoughtful absently chewing his lip. Wufei saw the other were too in shock at their friend personality change to be of any use so he walked up to Duo and grabbed him by the shoulders.  
  
" Maxwell get a hold on yourself we all wish we had the power to stop what happened to Quatre and to save him but we couldn't" Duos head shot up his eyes narrowed like Heero's did when he was thinking, before Wufei knew what had happened he had been pushed flat on his back . He blinked astonished and dazed as Duo turned to leave  
"Of course none of you could save him, how could you" he yelled leaving the others and walking towards the remains of the village oz had bombed. Then under his breath he muttered  
"But I can, damn you father!"  
  
elspeth chang wytches cavern http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk  



	2. chapter 2- of angel and saints

SHINIGAMI  
  
chapter 2- rage  
  
  
The wind howled though the empty shell of the church, its roof gone and windows shattered the stones still stood like a grinning skull, laughing at the boy that now stood at its threshold. He hesitantly put his hand on the door as if expecting it the sear his flesh and then pushed it open. The wood was so rotten though that it fell of its hinges and landed on the floor with a crash like thunder, the noise echoing of the cold walls. Duo shielded his eyes from the cloud of dust that rose from the floor and wiped his away the tears with the back of his hand. It was the dust; he had something in his eye boys don't cry right? How about monsters though? Did duo have the right to shed tears and weep like a normal boy? His anger rose again, NO death doesn't cry, death doesn't feel, death is eternal, forever….alone.  
  
"Always alone" he murmured to the crucified Christ staring down at him. By its nature death will eventually kill all those it loves.  
  
He brought death where ever he went, Maxwell church, the battle field and now his friend, quatre. Duo swallowed who would be next? Trowa? Wufei?....Heero? His chest tightened, as the image of Heero came into his head. Piercing cobalt eyes, the dark wild hair, the continuous scowl,… the soft pale skin…. He turned. And punched a nearby pew as his emotions see sawed again shattering it he stared at the cuts on his hands as blood started to ooze out staining his hands red. No, he didn't know what he had with Heero but not death, his father or all the powers in hell were going to take the Japanese boy away from him.  
  
He walked up the aisle towards the cross that was still standing at the end of the church, his feet crunching on the shattered faces of angels and saints, duo looked down at his feet and gave a half smile  
  
"Story of my life" he whispered, death always death, that's what he was that's what he brought. His friend was dead, where he went he brought death, people died at his hand and around him people were slowly dying as their lives disappeared day by day.  
  
He reached the end of the church and began to search for what he was looking for. He pushed aside the alter as if it weighed nothing at all. Falling to his knees he began to brush away the dust with his hands his nails trying to pull up the edge of every stone slab.  
  
"Where the hell is it" he growled standing up and walking to the first row of pews not even stopping to dust him self off.  
  
"Where is the damn thing, where's he hidden it father?!" he roared ripping up the first pew in a fit of inhuman strength and throwing it across the room where it splinted as it hit the font sending the plain stone bowl crashing to the ground. Duo turned his back the second pew and ripped that from the ground too. He turned to throw it across the room but then he stopped and quietly put the pew down. He stood like a statue listening, his braid faintly stirring in the wind, his eyes narrowed he could hear water, water that was falling down a very deep drop. He vaulted over the back row to where the font had smashed against the floor, sure enough there was a silvery trail of water flowing away from the stone fragments and disappearing down a faint gap under the font's pedestal. Duo flashed a triumphant grin.  
  
"Got you "he whispered knocking the pedestal to one side with a flick of his arm, there on the floor was a marble slab engraved with various symbols in gold on a wheel surrounding a skull.  
  
Duo brought his fist down and shattered the slab revealing an end les drop into nothing ness  
  
"I'm coming home dad you've punished me for the last time Quatre's coming home if I have to kill you to do it" duo yelled before swinging his legs over the side and falling into the abyss.  
  
elspeth chang wytches cavern http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk  
  



	3. chapter 3- going home

SHINIGAMI  
  
CHAPTER THREE.-going home  
  
Duo shut his eyes as he fell, the warm wind blowing over his face and making his clothes pull tight against his body. it was strange to him that people always thought of underground as being cold and scary, to him it was always warm and the safe, the darkness wrapped around him like a thick velvet blanket holding him safe and secure like an old friend . he had never been claustrophobic he liked tight spaces they seemed to make him feel at peace, maybe that's why he felt so at home in the cock pit of the deathsythe. he braced himself ready for the barrier ahead that surrounded his home to keep out the living. it shone ahead sending out a grey light as it flowed like mercury in a ribbon of rippling silver across the walls of the tunnel. duo's decent halted in front of it. he reached out and touched the silver light and gasped in shock as icy cold spread up his arm, in hurt badly like his bones had turned to ice in his body. he gritted his teeth and pushed harder hissing in pain, but the barrier refused to give.  
  
duo stepped away from the wall of silver he folded his arms staring at the barrier for a while as if his stare could melt it and then he grinned placing his hands palms down towards the floor.  
" have it your way dad, guess I have to come back as Shin or not at all ne?"  
with that he through his head back and let loose an inhuman scream, his eyes shimmed violet then midnight blue before becoming fathomless black as purple and blue eldritch shot up from the ground wrapping around duos body in bands of fire. he walked up to the barrier again and through his braid over his shoulder before placing his hand against the barrier once more. as the black fire round the now duo Shinigami body touched the silver light it caused it to shrink back letting duo pass thorough easily before his eyes returned to normal.  
  
duo hit the ground cat like before straightening up and dusting himself off, his landing made no sound, noise didn't exist down here. he looked around at his former home.  
the tunnel duo was stood in led into a cathedral size room, giant black coulombs of stone disappeared into the high ceiling hundreds of feet above his head where they met with great carved gothic arches. the whole place reminded the pilot of a rib cage of some great black beast he shuddered when he remembered this is where he came from. the floor was covered in fine black sand and small shiny black pebbles, duo stepped forward to enter the large room and heard a crunch, looking down at his feet he realised that it was not tiny black pebbles he was walking on at all but a carpet of living insects writhing and scurrying everywhere. duo began to feel nauseous and leaned against the wall with his eyes shut to try and compose him self, taking deep breaths he suddenly felt the beam under his hand breath. opening his eyes he came face to face with first a fork tongue and then a pair of dripping ivory fangs.  
his eyes widened as the snake began to wrap itself round his arm it's glistening black scales tightening around his flesh. panicking duo staggered back and tripped over his own feet hitting the ground hard. the insects began scurrying towards him a purple black sea of shiny bodies, in desperation duo scooted to the far wall only to be met with more snakes detaching from beams and heading towards him, their bodies flowing like oil over the black stone.  
  
duo felt helpless lost and alone he wanted heero and to get out of here, he put his arms over his head waiting for the first bite, " I shouldn't have come here" he thought "I don't belong here anymore, I was a fool to think I could help quatre" quatre as if that name gave him strength he stood up, he was here for quatre, his father had taken his friend and he was here to get him back, he looked at the snakes and bugs around him and laughed kicking at a snake near his foot. he was the god of death this stuff didn't scare him, what was he thinking? Life above really had changed him  
  
  
" is this the best you've got father ne? parlour tricks man could you get more hammer house of horror? oh but don't feel bad I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover!!"  
as quickly as they came the creatures disappeared and duo was once more stood on sand, he entered the large room ahead that was glowing with a blue light. duo was stood by the banks of a river, on the far side of the bank stood the entrance to the underworld, great black gates reached to the ceiling like a giant mouth, on either side of the gate stood a hooded figure about 9 feet tall their heads bowed. on duos side of the river stood thousands of people most dressed in rags. they paced up and down the bank, some weeping some talking to themselves others were just stood staring blankly. one woman clutching a baby grabbed duo's sleeve her eyes were sunken and hollow, her face haggard with starvation  
  
"why , why, why did this happen?" she shrieked at him duo turned his head away he couldn't get distracted and he knew better than to try and answer the deads questions by the river Styx. these people were the dead from the village oz had bombed, among them were the dead of other oz attacks all of them civilians, none of them could find peace until their deaths were avenged and oz was destroyed,. until that day when their souls were at peace and they could go on to Elysium they had to remain on the bank replaying their death over and over for eternity. duo carried on walking towards the river, he knew quatre would not be here, his soul was at peace, which meant he would have to travel to the palace of Hades to get him back, and time was running out if he didn't get to quatre within 48 hours then both he and quatre would be sent to hell forever.  
  
elspeth chang wytches cavern http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk 


	4. chapter 4 - memories

Hey boys and girls!! Look I finally motivated my butt into writing part 4 *everyone faints in amazement* hey!!! You need to be in a certain frame of mind to write this level of gothic angst you know and after two bottles of red wine and severe koi missing all day I think I'm there and before any off you think I'm sad you try having a boyfriend the other side of the world!!! Well lets get stuck in shall we? WARNING: CONTAINS JUSTIFIED SWEARING!!  
  
SHINIGAMI PART FOUR. memories  
  
"Damn underworld rules!!" growled Duo cracking his knuckles and gritting his teeth trying to ignore the press of the dead all around him, their cold lifeless eyes were beginning to get to him.  
"All places need rules Shinigami, a cosmic uniformity that binds all without exception, imagine the chaos there would be without them "his father had told him this once, right after he'd refused to end the life of a little girl in hospital. he just couldn't do it she'd been so happy and bright, like sunshine made flesh she should have had a chance at life. that really had been the beginning of the end for him he couldn't stand bringing an end to lives like hers, he didn't want to be death anymore he wanted to live, to feel, to save that girl he wanted to be mortal. His father hadn't agreed and did not share his appreciation for life, he viewed all humans as souls to be processed. Humanity to him were just ants beneath his feet, pitiful creatures scurrying about their pathetic lives till the day death comes to claim them, To Duo though they were so much more, all individuals, in the second before he ended their lives he saw it all, their hopes and fears, dreams and failures, joy and love.  
Love...this is what had effected Duo the most, the way two souls could become entwined and linked, form a bond and feel for each other, he wanted it. There was no love amongst the immortals, lust was common but love? No that was rare and slowly but surely Duo began to crave it, burn for it till it ate up his insides became his every waking thought. To be accepted, not feared, wanted not rejected, to be loved not loathed. One day he could take it no more he took his own scythe and severed his immortal life, from that day he was able to cry, hurt, die and love from that day on he was mortal. Yes he'd felt the pain of love, death of friends and family, jealousy, guilt but he'd also felt the joy of falling in love and the comfort of friends who cared for him and he wouldn't trade it for the world he'd die fighting for it. He'd finally been happy and his father ripped it away again it wasn't fair!!!  
"What happened to the rules father?!!" Duo yelled into the darkness his eyes blazing.  
"You had no right father it wasn't his time!!! I would have known!! Answer me!!" no answer was given, the only sound that Duo could hear was the echo of his own voice, the faint hum of the life stream and the stifled wailing and murmuring from the mouths of the lost souls around him.  
Duo quelled his building rage and took a deep breath.  
" Quatre is coming back dad if not for his sake then for Trowa's, they need each other they've found real love they should have a chance to explore that" spurred on by his anger he broke into a run his feet making dull thumping sounds and kicking up the black sand on the ground. He began shoving his way through the drifting souls heading closer to the life stream his chestnut braid swinging like a pendulum as he ran emphasising the time slowly ticking away to save his friend .  
As Duo drew nearer to the shimmering fluorescent river of souls a searing pain shot through his head knocking him to his knees and leaving him gasping.  
"Damn it!!" He growled clutching his head and trying to focus as his vision swam in and out of darkness. He had forgotten he had the power of telepathy, the very ability that let him as Shinigami to seek out the ill and those who's time to die it was. No that wasn't true he'd used the ability enough times as a mortal to prevent Heero from self destructing or knowing when Quatre had just made pancakes. Wufei had once complained that Duo seemed to have a 6th sense for knowing when food was ready. Duo smirked though with the pain it came out more like a grimace.  
"If only you knew the truth Wu-man" he sighed. Yes he'd used his telepathy but only a tiny amount and that was just a drop in the ocean compared to the volume of minds he had pressing into his skull right now. The closer he got to his father the stronger his powers became, this meant that every thought, fear and scream from the souls in the river were now crashing round poor Duo's head smashing his senses like sledge hammers.  
Suddenly he felt something warm and wet trickling between his fingers, wiping his hands over his ears he looked at them expecting to see sweat. Instead he saw his life blood dripping off his finger tips onto the black parched earth below which drank it up greedily like a leech. His frail mortal body couldn't handle all these thoughts battering it and his skull was caving in under the pressure causing him to haemorrhage. Duo began to panic his face frozen in shock the colour draining from it as blood began to pour from his eyes and nose too staining his vision a hellish red and filling his senses with the smell of freshly slaughtered meat, this invoked a strange feeling of de JA vu within him.   
The gundam pilot desperately racked his brain for a way to stop himself from bleeding to death or going insane as he struggled to disentangle his thoughts from those of all the other minds in his head. Think Duo think he was screaming at himself but his body was already ahead of him and he watched with a strange sense of detachment as the black fire once more wrapped itself around his body in a cool embrace. Part of his mind was yelling at him to be careful to take care as this time he hadn't even called upon the powers of death, they'd come of their own volition. But this tiny voice was quickly silenced by the sheer feeling of relief as both the pain and bleeding stopped and his vision cleared once more. Just before his mind became his own again he caught a faint whisper from the chaos of noise, a whisper of a voice that was all too familiar and like a tranquil breeze in the storm of the gundams lives.  
"Trowa… i'm sorry"  
"QUATRE!!! I'm coming buddy hold on!!" yelled Duo scrabbling to his feet his voice hoarse as it echoed through the cavern of the underworld.   
"Please Quatre hang in there" he whispered squeezing his eyes and fists tight trying to ignore the salty tears slipping soundlessly down his cheeks. Against his will Quatre's death played out before his eyes once more. They had all been too confident that day too cocky.  
Duo swung death scythe hells blade round in an arc grinning like an idiot as 6 mobile dolls quickly fell apart in front of him in a shower of sparks and molten metal.  
"You'll all die no one shall escape the god of death" he crowed shooting straight up in the air to avoid a clumsy attack by the dolls before bring the scythe down on it full force cutting though the doll like butter. Duo had felt like a king that day there was nothing him and his gundam couldn't do no one could touch them.  
"99 oz mobile dolls to chop down 99 oz mobile dolls" he sang at the top of his voice over the com to anyone who cared to listen while heading into the next wave this time mobile suits.  
"Hey Quatre looks like we got their attention buddy they're going all out on us today huh?" Quatre's worried face appeared on the screen.  
" this is beginning to feel like an ambush Duo be careful my friend don't do anything reckless we can only win this war if we stay together and don't get killed" Duo grinned at the blondes concern.  
"Don't sweat it Q-man bring it on they'll all be scrap metal before the god of death by the end of the day" Quatre smiled and shook his head  
"Just be careful ok" he warned  
"Sure thing hey careful is my middle name!! you chop one down splice it around 98 oz mobile dolls to chop down "he continued to sing happily dismembering another 4 mobile suits, he thought he was doing pretty good till he saw Shelongs extendable arm shoot out in front of him like white lightning causing Duo to haul back on death scythes controls and making him smack his head off the back of his seat.  
"Hey Wu-man watch it ya can put someone's eye out with that thing!!! Back off!!" Duo yelled at Shelongs pilot.  
" kissima! Fine with me Maxwell next time i'll let you die it would make my life a lot more peaceful!!" Wufei spat over the com his glare rivalling that of Heero's and his knuckles going white with anger on the controls of his beloved Nataku.  
" HUH?" duo looked to his left where Shelongs arm had gone and saw the remains of a mobile doll he hadn't noticed, one that had been about to cleave the cockpit of the death scythe in two. Duo felt his face go very hot and red.  
"Hey... um Wuffie sorry man... I mean thanks…eh really thanks a lot" he stammered partly in shock at how close he'd come to death and partly at the fact Wufei had been the one to save him. Wufei's lip curled.  
"Maybe if you spent less time singing and more time concentrating Maxwell you would have seen it, you're a better pilot than this so start acting like it and it's wuFEI not Wuffie!! He barked before disappearing from the viewer and slamming into the next line of suits picking one up and using it as a weapon against the others. Duo was stunned that had kind of been a compliment from Fei!! Then he sighed Wufei was right this wasn't a game it was real he needed to focus more. He checked his screen for any oz troops near him luckily there were none but one of the gundams appeared to be surrounded, correction one of the gundams was walking right into the middle of the oz forces!! The gundam wasn't even attacking who was that stupid!?! Duo's insides twisted in a knot, Heero!!  
"HEERO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??!! GET OUT OF THERE!! ARE YOU COMPLETELY NUTS!!??" screamed Duo franticly his face ashen but Heero didn't answer.  
"Damn it Heero!!" Duo growled punching the wall of the cockpit. Taking a deep breath he let the tendrils of his mind gently brush against the cold hard diamond he'd come to know as the mind of Heero Yui. He carefully wormed his way into Heero's thoughts ignoring the usual collection of dark images and nightmares that were always present in Japanese boys mind.  
"what are you planning this time you suicidal baka?" he muttered pushing his bangs out of his eyes and concentrating harder, his brow knitted beads of sweat began to form on his fore head. Heero's thoughts were always hard to read because he kept his emotions so closed off his mind was as disciplined as his body but finally Duo found his goal and his eyes went wide with shock as he read the boys mind.  
"Too many…sacrifices must be made…stop oz at all costs…ninmu ryookai"   
Duo hauled savagely on the controls of his gundam spinning it round so fast he nearly knocked it over, his mind going nuts.  
" jeez Heero do you have to try and kill yourself every mission??!!" he snarled ploughing his way though the dolls towards Heero hacking with his scythe sending mobile suit parts flying like metal confetti and ignoring the repeated attacks being slammed into death scythe making it rock violently.  
He broke through the line and saw wing zero stood motionless in front him it's weapons pointed at the ground as if in stasis and not on a battle field he could feel Heero about ready to push the self detonate button and tried yelling over the com again but it had no effect on his friend. Out of ideas he body slammed wing zero with his gundam slamming it hard into the earth and pinning it under death scythes extra weight.  
"Got your attention yet Heero?" he yelled at the struggling gundam below finally Heero's cold scowling face appeared on the screen.  
"Baka what do you think you're doing?!!!" snarled the Japanese boy continuing to glare from underneath his dark brown bangs at duo.  
"Hai duo no baka, that's why i'm stopping you from acting out forth of July with your gundam buddy." panted duo smirking as he received another death glare from Heero. Heero tried to get up again but duo kept anticipating his moves and kept wing firmly pinned.  
"Destroy oz at all costs those were the orders" replied Heero, his voice cold and flat, completely devoid of emotion.  
"He-cha…Heero one mission is not worth your life ok? Come on buddy we'll blow these guys up another day whada ya say?" getting no reply he grinned.  
"Fine then if you're going out with a bang take me too, i'll keep you company on your journey to hell I hear it's nice and warm this time of year" Heero looked up sharply  
" there is no point in us both dying baka you…you shouldn't have to die duo" for a second duo could have sworn he saw a spark of concern in the normally cold cobalt eyes of the perfect soldier but it went as quickly as it came. Duo started to say something but was cut short by Heero yelling  
"Duo! Quatre!!" duo turned to look for sandrock and that's when it happened, all of it playing out in sickening slow motion.  
Painfully slowly Quatre seemed to swing sandrock's twin scimitars up and into the mobile dolls in front of him cleaving them in two. Time moved like treacle as the screeching sound of metal on metal filled the air like a dying scream and the dolls slowly parted and fell as twisted wrecks on the ground their dying sparks casting a golden glow over sandrock. Quatre didn't even see the mobile suit behind him about to fire straight into his back but someone as ever was there to protect him.  
"Quatre look out!!" Trowa yelled over the com his eyes for once wide with fear, he desperately punched heavy arms controls and let loose everything the gundam had to try and save his angel. as heavy arms assault headed for the suit duo shook his head trying to scream "no " but the words got caught in his throat he could see what was going to happen. At the sound of Trowa's voice Quatre turned to his koi sadly at this moment the mobile suit behind sandrock took off. Trowa's missile meant to save Quatre punched right through sandrock and out the other side. On the screen all four pilots saw Quatre's sapphire eyes go wide with shock as he gasped.  
"T...t...trowa a single tear slid from the corner of his eye before they closed and Quatre's head fell back against the seat his hair fanning round his head like a halo. The missile had gone right through the cockpit. Trowa's hoarse screams echoed over the com mixing with the sound of sandrock's swords crashing to the ground. Duo turned his head away from the screen unable to meet Trowa's gaze. For a second it looked like sand rock was ok then it swayed, dropped to its knees before slamming into the ground imbedding itself into the earth like a grave.  
"QUATRE NO!!!" screamed Trowa desperately fumbling to free himself from the harness of heavy arms.  
"Shimatta Quatre answer!!" Heero growled trying to pull up the visual on sandrock's cockpit again but most of the systems had been ripped out by the explosion.  
"Kissima winner, damn it more dolls" Wufei quickly turned to meet the new threat where they met a quick end.  
" q-man say something" whispered duo " you can't be dead, I …I didn't feel it" Trowa vaulted from heavy arms and hit the ground running his feet skidding in the mud and oil on the ground, his breath coming in sporadic bursts as he hammed across the ground towards the wreck of his fallen koi's gundam.  
"QUATRE!!! QUATRE!!!" he screamed still running and ignoring the fire he was still under from oz, duo leapt off Heero and began covering the taller pilot with the help of the Japanese boy.  
" you bastards will pay" snarled Heero ramming the first suit near him and ripping it apart in his rage before using his beam cannon and melting a whole battalion trying to find somewhere to pour the anger that was bubbling in his chest. Trowa was nearly at the hatch to Quatre's gundam when Wufei rugby tackled him knocking him into the ground burying him face first into the mud leaving the boy gasping for air  
"Wu what the hell are you doing?!!" snapped duo protecting the two pilots on the ground.  
"Use your eyes Maxwell it's going to blow!! " Fei snapped back twisting Trowa's arms behind his back to try and restrain the frantic pilot who was just sobbing Quatre's name over and over into the dirt and repeatedly trying to get up  
"It's WHAT!!!" duo yelled looking at sandrock which was bathed in an eerie white light; somehow the missile had shorted out the systems putting them into self destruct mode.  
"SHIT TROWA GET OUT OF THERE MOVES IT!!" Duo screamed jumping from death scythe and racing towards Wufei to help drag the kicking and screaming Trowa away.  
"No I have to help quatre get off me!! He needs help Quatre i'm coming" sobbed Trowa tears streaming unchecked down his face. Duo felt sick and balled his fists he knew he'd be just the same as Trowa if it were Heero; he'd want to be by his side regardless of the risk. But there was nothing Trowa could do to for Quatre now. Trowa continued to sob into the ground his tears soaking into the earth as Heero threw wing zero over the pilots to protect them from the blast. They all felt the force of the explosion and the hot wind of the after math blow over them but this seemed trivial compared to the empty sick feeling they all felt in the pit of their stomachs as Trowa began searching the wreckage for Quatre still convinced that if he could just get to him he'd be ok. He found him, his small body laying awkwardly over the remains of sandrock's hand almost cradled in his gundams fingers, his hair was shot through with red streaks and his clothes virtually gone,. Trowa pushed the hair from Quatre's head and kissed his fore head before picking him up in his arms and carrying him to an open piece of ground and laying him down.  
"Breathe Quatre come on you're alive I know it" murmured Trowa desperately trying c.p.r  
"Breathe damn you please for the love of god breathe!!" Trowa whispered still trying to revive the dead boy but it was useless Quatre had been dead before sandrock had even hit the ground and the others knew this finally wufei put his hand on Trowa's shoulder   
"Bart…Trowa he's gone my friend" Trowa broke down in earnest cradling Quatre's body to him and sobbing  
"You can't go I need you" he whispered "i...i love you"  
duo felt the tears on his cheeks again " we all need you Quatre" he whispered his thought returning to his surroundings once more, his mind was made up if he had to become shinigami once more to bring back the angel it was a small price to pay.  
"No mortal's boy ,get your filth from this place" hissed a voice like wind through a tomb. Duo looked up at a shrouded figure completely hidden by dirty torn black cloth one knar led grey bony hand was the only visible feature and this was wrapped round a mouldy black oar in a death grip. He was stood on an ancient wooden boat black as coal and covered in horrific carvings that would have felt at home in Dantes inferno, the boat rocked gently on the river of souls that was casting a fait blue light over craft and boat man.  
"I said get out" rasped the voice glaring from beneath its hood with a crazed red eye. Duo glared back and walked up to the boat getting in it and ignoring the stench of decomposition emanating from its owner.  
" what do you think you're doing i'll throw you to the lost ones" the boat man gasped pointing at the moaning spirits in the river with one bony finger and grasping duo round the throat with his other rotting hand the grey translucent skin hanging from the bone in strips. Duo grinned showing his fangs and letting his eyes flash black for an instant "Chiron don't you recognise me?" he asked innocently throwing his head back and laughing. The walking corpse dropped him instantly backing up to the far side of the boat and rasing his hand to where his mouth would be  
"M...mm...Mmaster Shinigami!!" he threw himself to the floor of the boat keeping his eyes fixed on the ground.  
"P.p.pplease forgives me I had no idea you had returned" the pathetic creature whimpered, duo put his foot on its back and pushed him lower.  
"That's right death is back and I want to see my father NOW is that understood?" he then let him get back up. Chiron nodded his head dumbly and cast off, duo sighed ah he-chan if only you could see me now you wouldn't recognise me he thought sadly as the boat lurched forward into the river leaving the cries of the damned behind. Duo turned and looked to far shore where the gates of Hades stood beyond there was Quatre, beyond there was his father, beyond there was hell and that was where he was headed, right into the jaws of hell.  
  
elspeth chang wythces cavern http://www.kjkemp.co.uk  



	5. chapter 5 - hope

Well here is shinigami part 5 it's short I know but I might have part 6 done by tomorrow which is much bigger. I dedicate this to Aika who motivated me to get writing again with her poem "fallen angel". The song some of you may know, sadly not mine but Jane Siberry's * shrug * it just seemed Duo. Feedbacks as always welcome  
  
SHINIGAMI 5 - hope  
  
The boat moved silently towards the far shore across the river Styx, the only sound present was the faint thump of Chiron's oar as it was repeatedly plunged into the shining river of souls, and the quiet rustling of Duo's breathing, which somehow seemed so out of place here. Duo was not used to quiet, by nature he was noisy, maybe it was rebellion against this place and it's oppressive silence that made him talk incessantly as a mortal. Or maybe it was just the sheer joy of speaking with a voice instead of with telepathy that made him love sound. He didn't know or care he just knew that the quiet was beginning to unnerve him, he hated speaking with his mind you always ended up seeing the other persons thoughts He shuddered, down here there were minds that would make nightmares run screaming he didn't want to see that, he made a mental note to try and avoid telepathy at all costs.  
  
He could also feel the foul putrid presence of Chiron's mind nibbling at the edges of his own with questions begging to be answered. He tried to shut it out and ignore his gruesome companion but it wasn't working he could still feel the boatman just on the edge of his consciousness pressing for answers. In desperation to ignore Chiron he began singing, he grinned if nothing else him singing in hell was bound to get his fathers attention and really piss him off besides he needed the company of his own voice. Duo sniggered at this and ignored the startled look Chiron gave him as he started singing. It was a song he'd heard in a movie a while ago that had reminded him of himself in a way, it reminded him to never give up to no matter how much his life got screwed up, which was often..a little too often he thought sadly. He needed the solace of its words so he let his voice ring out throwing everything he had into it.  
"I hear the pounding feet, in the,  
In the streets below, and the,  
And the women are crying, and the,  
And the children moan, there's,  
There's something wrong, it's,  
It's hard to believe that love will prevail"  
Everything seemed hushed as if waiting for the rest of the song, for a second hell stopped moving, the cries of the damned were hushed as the god of death sang a message of hope across the river and through the darkness, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife. This is me to a t Duo thought, as he began the chorus that had helped him stay happy in the darkest of times. But he wished Trowa could hear these words. They might bring a little comfort to him, just a little. Reassure him perhaps that it will be all right; that though things were dark now somehow they will turn out ok in the end. And it will be ok he thought to himself stubbornly, I'll make it turn out all right, you'll see he promised. He smirked dad really wont like this he thought as he let loose in a louder voice.  
" It won't rain all the time,  
The sky won't fall, forever,  
And though the night seems long,  
Your tears wont fall,  
Your tears wont fall,  
Your tears wont fall, forever"  
. Around him the air seemed to suddenly lighten as if somehow those few words had brought a tiny measure of peace to the troubled and tormented masses. It seemed Duo's voice had somehow soothed their misery if only for a second, for some it had been an eternity since they had last had a word of reassurance spoken to them. The very walls seemed to sigh; Duo had bought hope to hell. But Duo could also feel something else brewing, rage, burning violent rage; emanating from a source as old as life itself. Chiron felt it too and shrank back against his oar clutching on to it as if it were some charm to protect him.  
" M.mm…master what have you done?!!" whimpered the boatman his form resembling a withered leaf as he trembled noticeably in fear. " Your… your father, he..He is not happy" he continued absolutely petrified. In response Duo just grinned and shrugged, got your attention now huh father? He thought wickedly, then the walls shook violently as a voice from the bowels of the under world roared in blind fury.  
" SHINIGAMI!!!"  
Duo put his hands behind his head and grinned self confidently, before answering cheerfully  
" Ahhh hello dad"   
  
elspeth chang wytches cavern http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk  



	6. chapter 6 - then and now

  
Ok ok it's been a while since the last one but I had to start shadow diaries and do part 3 of duo-ble trouble. I also lost intresst in writing this for a bit till my linkin park cd put me back in shinigami mode. Apologies to all of you who I kept waiting gomen nasai guys please forgive me! Now lets get back to du-chan ne? ^_^  
  
SHINIGAMI 6- then and now  
  
" What do you think you are doing shinigami?!!" Demanded his father. Duo winced at the strength of his father's telepathic voice; it felt like he was actually in duo's head screaming pure venom in his brain.  
" Singing!!" duo yelled out loud, he refused to use telepathy, his father would see too much, things that duo wanted to remain hidden. His mental silence did not go unnoticed by the lord of the underworld however  
  
" Hiding something boy? Just why are you here? Don't tell me you got bored of mortal life already?" he mocked. Duo ground his teeth in anger; his father had done everything within his power to keep duo from leaving hell. If not for his mothers intervention duo would have been still chained in the underworld, below taturus until he agreed to " see sense" as his father had coldly put it. His father's last words were " you'll be back boy I will enjoy seeing you crawl through taturus for forgiveness and seeing your battered and broken body when you come to realise the mistake you are making, I shall see you with the empty look of defeat etched on your face and I will laugh"  
  
" You know damn well why I'm here!" spat back duo, his eyes flashed black again as his anger boiled. The vibrant violet orbs clouding into fathomless nothingness for an instant before clearing back to bright azure, but a dark film lingered at the edge of his vision like a shadow forming a black band round the iris. His fathers thunderous laughter rang out through the cavern suddenly or it could have been in duo's head he could not be sure his senses were sluggish with his fathers presence, there was little humour in the voice however and when his father spoke chills danced up and down duo's spine like icy fingers  
  
" The human boy? You came all this way.came to face me for him? "   
" You knew I would that's why you took him!" growled duo lashing out with his mind, trying to eject his father from it, he was beginning to feel dirty from his invasion, almost mentally raped.  
" Temper temper shinigami," the voice in his head chided mockingly "yes I knew you'd come and you are welcome to try and get the whelp if you wish, but you'll fail him, you bring death not life boy. You'll be killed and fade into nothingness you fool…and I will enjoy watching your defeat" his father hissed before retreating back into the lower levels of hell.  
  
Duo felt the grip on his mind disappear with his fathers departure as the last tendril slipped it's hold and unwrapped from his thoughts like a black mist, his mind was once more his own but still he could feel a vile residue of the hell lord within his head tainting his thoughts with darkness.  
" We'll see father, we'll see" he whispered, he realised now what was going on   
, This was a game; one big twisted screwed up game to his father. The underworld lord didn't care that Quatre had not been due to die, he didn't care what this was doing to duo or what he was putting his only son through. no he just found torturing duo amusing. This was the way it had always been since before duo could remember and as the boat bumped against the shore duo was reminded of another of his father's earlier sick games.  
  
" Cerebus" he whispered sadly, a sharp pain from child hood stabbing his already tattered soul. Shackled to the shore was a monster of a dog straight out of a horror story, possessed of large curving canines, wild yellow eyes and easily as big as any fabled dragon. It's three vicious heads each straining on the unbearably short chain that held it while it howled, whimpered and clawed at the ground in frustration and anguish. Without a backward glances duo leapt from the boat. Ignoring the still trembling form of Chiron who was more than happy to be rid of the brat prince god, he walked over to the monster his eyes filled with pain. The dog lowered one head and growled like thunder, snapping at duo before it's head was viciously jerked back by it's restraint causing the beast to yelp and whimper. The second head swung round baring a row of ivory at the unfazed boy, it's condition even worse than that of the first head Drool slid in slimy tendrils from it's blackened lips, pooling at it's heavily clawed paws as foam collected at the corners of it's mouth. One eye was missing exposing a raw empty socket eternally oozing blood down its sunken cheeks, while the other was equally sightless, clouded by cataracts. The third head was barely more than a skeleton, covered in balding ratty grey fur, it's tongue lolling from its mouth in thirst as it threw back it's head and howled once more. The beast was mad with hunger, pain and thirst, unable to die, it lived out its eternity half crazed by the banks of the river Styx as the guardian to the Hell Gate. Duo walked up to the towering monster and placed his hand on its chest.  
  
" Cerebus, my cerebus what has he done to you I'm so sorry boy!!" he whispered burying his face in it's fur, the dog quietened, instantly, lowering it's heads to sniff the braided boy in front of him.  
" I never thought this would happen…please forgive me!! He breathed as the dog whined, dropping its weary form to the floor at duo's feet in submission. This was not the cerebus duo remembered and he felt sick looking at the cruel joke his father had turned his beloved pet into. He ran his hand lovingly over the creature's heads, ignoring the horrorific appearance. Cerebus had not always been this way, he'd been handsome, happy, whole when duo's mother had given him it .duo remembered the golden puppy his mother had handed him when she had returned to the underworld  
  
" What is it?" asked the laughing duo as the dog had bowled him over. His mother had smiled, her face shinning like sunlight as she picked up her small son pushing long strands of chestnut hair away from her face  
" It's called a dog shinigami they have them on the surface, his name is cerebus, he's to stop you getting lonely when I have to leave you sometimes do you like him? She asked gently. Duo had nodded his head enthusiastically hugging the puppy to him. Cerebus had been his only friend in the underworld till his father had decided that a god of death should not have pets. Duo had returned home to find cerebus gone, he'd been devastated but his father only laughed saying that " that Childs indulgence has been put to a better use" this is what his father had meant, duo felt sick!!. The dog wagged it's stick tail and bumped duo's hand with one of it's heads jerking on it's chain, duo turned and looked at the chain holding the dog and grabbed it giving it a vicious tug, but it held. Duo tried again but still it held, he looked at the pathetic creature in front of him and felt guilt wash over him, he couldn't even get him free and he didn't have time to try further, not if he was to save Quatre. He couldn't even help ease the hunger of his friend, as he had no food. He punched the wall in frustration sending a spider's web of cracks running up through the obsidian surface.  
  
" YOU BASTARD YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!" yelled duo turning back to the dog, he placed a hand on it gently  
" I'm sorry boy there's nothing I can do, I wish I could I really do, he'll pay I promise you!!! But I have to go help another friend of mine…. he needs me too…I'm so sorry cerebus" he whispered letting his hand trail of the dogs side. Turning round he tried to ignore the feeling like a knife in his gut as he began to walk away leaving his friend to howl and cry it's anguish out behind him. He squeezed his eyes stopping anymore tears trickling down his cheeks as the howls became more desperate and mingled with the harsh rattling of the chain as cerebus tried to pull free and follow his once friend.  
  
" This is the last time you make me cry!!" hissed duo, his skin turning alabaster white, his eyes turning black once more  
" I swear by all that is sacred ya gonna pay dad this is the last time ya hurt me or my friends" he raised his hand up in front of the gates of hell, vicious black flames dancing across his body matching his eyes. A snarl played at the edges of his mouth as he threw his arm to one side and yelled  
" I AM SHINIGAMI GOD OF DEATH. TAKER OF LIVES, STEALER OF SOULS. I HAVE RETURNED HOME AND DEMAND ENTRANCE TO HADES OPEN AND LET ME PASS!!" with a grinding squeal and a loud clunk the mammoth ebony gates swung inward, crashing against the inner walls. Duo stood motionless as a wall of heat from Hades hit him, the only movement came from his braid as it stirred in the warm draft. He shifted his midnight gaze to the two guardians stood either side of the gate way as a twisting pain pulled on his insides forcing him to double over. He gasped and he felt his stomach wretch. A thin trail of gold liquid spilled from his lips and lay shimmering on the ground in front of him, clashing violently against the coal black earth.   
  
Duo stepped back and wiped his mouth staring at the liquid in front of him and trying to fathom what had happened, his brow furrowed and his eyes flicked between black and violet as his human and immortal side battled for control.  
" Your humanity" came a soft voice behind him. He turned to see a familiar figure, A girl his age, dressed all in white and surrounded by a faint blue white light, her long hair hung like pale silk down her back and her face had a sad look of acute pain.  
" The more you use the shinigami within you the less human you become" she continued walking soundlessly over to duo and touching his face with cool fingers. Duo just stared wide eyed at her scared to breathe in case she disappeared, his eyes remained fixed on her violet ones that shimmered on the edge of tears. She sighed dropping her hand and looking away before continuing  
" The shinigami can't live in mortal form…you can't be both, you are either immortal or mortal, it will kill you…duo" she said the last word as if it was unfamiliar to her almost tasting the sound on her tongue, she turned her gaze back to duo biting her lip  
" Once this humanity is gone you can no longer live in the mortal realm..And as you killed the immortal side of you…you'll just cease to be, neither shinigami nor duo..Maxwell" duo looked at her desperately wanting to speak with her more, but she quickly jerked her head to one side her eyes wide with fear as if looking at something before she disappeared in front of him  
  
" No wait come back!!" called duo, but the pale angel was gone  
" So…either way I'm a dead guy huh? Well then I'm not going out without a fight! I wont let Quatre down," whispered duo his thoughts briefly resting on a pair of cobalt eyes. He hugged his arms round his body as if to comfort him  
" I'll….miss you he-chan……but…I have to do this….don't forget me, " he pleaded to the darkness before sighing and walking into the inferno ahead of him and wrapping him self in the black flames again.  
" I wish you were here with me Heero…I miss you," he breathed before the gates slammed shut behind him, now there was no way out.  
  
" DUO!!" Heero sat up in bed quickly kicking off the tangled covers and running a hand over his face. He could have sworn he heard duo that time. He shook his head and walked over to the window through which the moon was shining, and rested his head against the cool pane. Ignoring the chill that was biting into his skin still sweaty from his second nightmare that night he opened the window. Looking out at the night's sky trying to clear his head of the images he'd seen in his sleep, ones of duo in a dark place, a dead place?  
" Duo where ever you are I hope you're ok ….and …come back to me baka" he sighed before turning back to his ravaged bed. He was worried, his partner had not been seen since the day Quatre died and he'd run off. Heero sat on the edge of his bed his ice blue gaze fixed on duo's empty one  
" Samishii desu duo" he whispered *  
  
  
WRITERS NOTES  
* ( smashii desu duo) –japanese for I miss you duo I only make heero speak Japanese in my fics because he is Japanese, it makes more sense than them all speaking in Japanese I also make wu use Chinese, Trowa French and quatre Arabic, never say my attention to detail is not good ^_^  
  
elspeth chang wytches cavern http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk  



	7. chapter 7-tartarus

Gomen ne guys I know it's been a while sorry about that but most of you know why it has ^_^ this is dedicated to all my wonderful friends at bishonen trainer who kept me writing when I was gonna quit, shinigami lives because of you I love you guys * hugs* elspeth  
  
  
Walk the shadows,  
Fear the light,   
And find your solace within the night,  
Hide the wounds,   
Tears on your face  
Crawl unto a midnight place,  
And spread the wings that match your soul,  
Within the darkness you can be whole,  
Violet fire,  
Death not apart,  
What shatters now the reapers heart? – " Mens mort"  
  
Tartarus,….the inferno…. hell….call it what you will it is where the souls of night go to atone for their sins. The place of divine or as it seemed now demonic retribution where there is no escape, no forgiveness, no hope, eternal torment with no way out.   
It's grisly presence spread out in front of duo in all directions, luring him forward into its warped embrace like a fly seduced into a web  
" You're not strong enough shinigami…Tartarus will be your end, you are a scared little boy, this place feels it..feeds of it..it will enjoy devouring your sanity" whispered a voice in his ear, rich and seductive  
" Go back boy you don't belong here anymore……..you will fail" hissed his father . Duo bowed his head controlling the fear of failure already gnawing at his belly eating it's way out to the surface, he couldn't, wouldn't fail he had to succeed Quatre and Trowa he was their only hope  
" If I'll fail why try and get me to stop? I thought you wanted to see me fail?!!" whispered duo keeping his voice level and calm.  
" I was trying to save you the humiliation" was the simple reply as a dark shadow rose up on the path in front of duo like a giant deformed bat. " Call it fatherly concern" mocked the figure, duo snorted and grinned back at the shifting shadow  
" Yeah nice try dad… if ya here it means ya worried I'll succeed, ya just gave me the confidence I need to do this thanks" snickered duo evilly, his white teeth flashing for an instant, in the oppressively hot darkness around him, as he shot a disturbing grin at the shadow. "  
" If you have to obtain your confidence from me then you've failed before you've even begun shinigami" laughed his father, he then paused for a second before adding " but since you are so sure of yourself try this little image" laughed the god as the walk way under duo's feet crumbled and he was plunged into the river of blood below, sinking into it's thick crimson warmth.  
Death, ..blood,…slaughter…massacres,..Murder…a Childs scream, 101 images ripped through duo's head as his eyes, mouth and nose filled with the liquid of the hellish river, the river of pain. In his mouth was the bitter metallic taste of blood, his nose full of the smell of slaughter, a sickening familiar smell that brought memories long buried to the surface? Duo's eyes shut as his lungs screamed for air, he kicked his legs and desperately tried to drag himself towards the surface but something dragged him down..guilt, guilt over what he was, what he'd done, what he'd failed to do…….  
His past played again………….  
  
" Maxwell get a hold on yourself we all wish we had the power to stop what happened to Quatre and to save him but we couldn't"  
"Of course none of you could save him, how could you But I can, damn you father!"…………………..  
  
" Heero is your life worth so little..am I worth so little that ya can throw it all away with the push of a button?"……………..  
  
  
*" one mobile suit is good enough right? I'll steal one for you in exchange for that you guys are out of here"  
" Duo stop!!"……………………  
  
*" may…god bless..and keep you…………."  
  
" why wont mommy wake up? Mommy?…MOMMMYYY!!!!"  
  
"how can you take lives and yet never have lived one?……..that's so sad"…….  
. his mind recoiled violently. setsuna?!..NO!! DON'T MAKE ME REMEMBER!! NOT THAT!!! NOT AGAIN!! Duo tried block off the memory but it was too late, the crimson haze his mind was wrapped in cleared, he was back in the hospital room, back in the room of the one who'd changed his life…  
" Setsuna" he whispered.  
  
" Doctor call on line one"  
" Clear coming through!!"  
" Nurse we've been waiting 4 hours how much longer is it likely to be before we are seen to?!!"  
" Trauma in cubicle two, possible head injury"  
  
Shinigami stopped in the middle of the hospital waiting room and let the buzz of life wash over him. To most people a hospital would seem a fearful place where one went when ones life was going to end or where you went to visit loved ones in pain. However to someone, whose trade was death there was no better place on earth to see the struggle for life in action. All around shinigami people were giving birth to new life, working tirelessly to preserve it or just fighting to hold on to it. He loved the hospital..all the different people, ages, races , religions crowded in to the one place in one delicious MELTING POT of humanity. But it also saddened him because he knew that with his passing this place would soon be without one less fighter.  
  
He narrowed his eyes and scanned the people in front of him searching for his latest acquisition, his gaze penetrating beyond the hospital walls and into the surrounding wards. He wasn't looking for a face but more an aura, a person's spiritual signature and he found it…one almost white and tinged with black, they didn't have long, and it was time to call them home.  
He folded his black wings onto his back and set off through the crowd towards the i.c.u ward leaving an icy chill in the air. No one saw his despite the blinding glare of the over heard lights because he wasn't really there, he existed on another plane and as such could slip in and out of homes un noticed the only people who ever detected him were animals and small children because their minds were not so cluttered with modern life and so they were more aware of their surroundings. The god gave a faint smirk as a small 5 year old girl deliberately stepped to one side to let him pass, her mother turned and looked at her daughter  
" What on earth are you doing Aika?" she asked pulling her coat round her and shivering…had it suddenly gone cold?  
" Letting the angel with the funny wings past" replied the little girl staring after shinigami, her mother looked at the thin air beside the child and shook her head putting her hand on the girls fore head  
" Your fever is getting worse Aika…come on back to the ward honey" she clucked, ushering the child away  
  
An angel? Thought shinigami that's one I've not been called before…yeah that's me shinigami…angel of death…just hope ya don't see me again sweetie…not for a while anyways. He stopped in front of a heavy plastic door, on it was hung a chart with the name " Setsuna" written on it and the words " isolation" in large black letters.  
" Poor kid" whispered shinigami eyeing the brief description on the chart before stepping forward and melting through the door into to a bright white room.  
The air was thick with the smell of disinfectant, enough to make a person wretch it was so overpowering and from the ceiling hung large plastic barriers that shone under the glaring lamps all around.  
Behind the barrier was a teenage girl though she could have passed for a child she was so frail and thin, her illness had greedily devoured her body leaving a faint wisp of the girl she had been.  
  
As shinigami moved forward he noticed something else about her..She looked familiar….that fine boned face…..the pale skin and the fall of blonde hair that was splayed across the starch white hospital pillow…it all reminded him of the girl he'd refused to take….Hotura the little girl…..the little sunbeam…now her sister had to die too? No!!..he turned to leave, there were other people who's time it was…what harm would it be if he let her live a few more days? But a voice stopped him from leaving  
" y..you're different to how I imagined …have you come to take me away now?" shinigami turned and saw bright eyes fixed on him, not in his direction but on him, they were locked with his violet ones. He frowned at the pale angel  
" you can see me?" she nodded her head weakly  
" Yes…I've seen you before , you took my sister…you're shinigami…..you are death"  



	8. chapter 8-angel

Well this was meant to be all part of chapter 7 but this fic seems to have a life of it's own I don't even know how it's going to finish yet! And thus we ended up with more chapters; well Duo is holding a scythe to my throat so I guess I better get on ne? As previously said music effects me a lot the music that goes to this is Sarah McLaughlin's " angel" (arigato Aika chan) and of course for the second half led zeplin "stairway to heaven" it was playing the whole time I wrote this  
  
Shinigami stood motionless, pinned like a butterfly by the girls gaze, confusion rippled across his thoughts. He couldn't read her, her thoughts were a blank to him. He looked away sighing.  
  
" You must despise me for all the pain I've caused you" he whispered looking down at the scythe in his hand with regret. His insides twisted loathing himself and fighting the urge to run from the angels stare.  
  
" No" she whispered hoarsely. He raised his head to see the girl on the verge of tears, her eyes shinning with a strength that seemed a violent contrast to her body's fragile state.  
  
" I do not hate you…you are what you are……..my sister was in pain you stopped it,……. I cannot move or eat or walk…….. I can never leave this room…..you shall free me. Why should I hate you?"  
  
Shinigami frowned chewing his lip, his violet orbs shifting to the girl lying weakly on the bed. Her alabaster skin melting into the, sterile, bleak hospital sheets giving her the impression of a wraith. He tried to gather his thoughts his voice shaking.  
  
" I have killed…slaughtered……..stripped the lives from men women and children…..and you don't hate me?"   
He murmured in disbelief, his eyes searching hers for the truth. The girl shook her head and reached her hand out towards him, As if drawn he stepped forward, his body melting through her plastic cocoon that surrounded her bed and without thinking he took her hand, his fingers locking with hers.  
  
" I don't hate you…. i pity you" she sighed examining his icy hand within her warm grasp. Taking in the flawless skin, the obsidian nails and the faint chill that the god of death's touch brought, she shivered a little, her skin rising into goose bumps.  
  
Shinigami looked down at their fingers laced together trance like, he'd never touched a human before, there had always been a distance, he came, freed the soul and left..No contact, no touching……no interaction at all……….he suddenly realised how lonely his existence truly was. He squeezed her hand afraid to let go, enjoying the heat radiating from it, her pulse against his skin, her living essences dancing across his flesh from their contact. He never wanted to let go but her words resurfaced in his thoughts.  
  
" Pity me?" he questioned, his eyes confused, the colour shifting like stars  
" You are dying and you pity me? How can you?" she smiled and bought her free hand to his cheek  
" Because my life maybe over but at least I had one" her eyes overspilled, as liqued crystal escaped from the corners and she turned her head to look at the silver scythe resting on the floor by Shinigami's feet.  
  
"How can you take lives and yet never have lived one? That's so sad"  
  
Shinigami brought his fingertips to her eyes and caught her tears, staring at them in disbelief rubbing the moisture between his fingers, as if to assure himself they were real.   
  
He was speechless; the angel pitied him, cried for him. He'd taken everything from her yet she wept for his life unlived. He took her in his arms, her head fitting neatly into the hollow by his shoulder, surprising himself at his tenderness and held her as her tears fell for him. 100,000 years he'd seen people cry, mothers by the cribs of their dead infants, children howling for parents that would never hold them again, men..kings..For their dying lovers slipping away before their eyes but not once had it ever been for him. He was hated, cursed, feared…….no one cried for the destroyer, for his life of loneliness…darkness……..despair?   
  
Yes he despaired no one can live a life alone, they go insane..They kill themselves, cry themselves away till they don't have the strength to even breathe anymore.he had endured an enernity…..how much more could he take.  
  
" I've walked this earth an eternity and never lived a day" he whispered, raising his eyes to hers, as the sudden realisation washed through his mind. He did not look the god of death anymore, vulnerability, confusion; loss welled up within his core. Where once was certainty was now filled with doubt. With, but the briefest contact the girl had made him question…hate all he was, he didn't want it anymore. He……..hurt?  
  
" You've taken peoples loved ones since forever and never known what it is to love" she replied, her fingers still entwined with his. Her heart beat growing weaker against his palm.  
  
" I don't know what love is…. I've never had a life, emotions…….i am always distant……..cold…….lonely. This is what death is meant to be," he said, his voice tinged with bitterness. His gaze returned to the scythe by his feet, it's gleaming blade a sharp reminder of what he was here to do, what he had been meant to do……he didn't think he could do it anymore.   
  
" Take Mine, " she whispered, clutching his other hand. He looked at her horrified, they both knew what that would mean but her insistent tugging pulled him forward.  
  
" End it please," she begged, her veiled blue eyes pleading. She hurt, she felt sick, weak, tired, she wanted to rest she had had enough of this world and it's pain  
" My time is done anyway, if I can give you something before I go…….then I will be happy"  
  
Shinigami's shoulders slumped in defeat. He could not extend a life already over  
" Sleep well princess " he sighed, pushing the stray strands of pale silk from her face. Then he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. Shinigami kissed his angel goodbye.  
  
Emotion swept through him, love, anger, grief, jealousy, depression. Every pain she'd suffered, he felt it, every smile she'd given he shared it as she poured her life into him.  
  
Time froze, the world stopped turning and the room faded away as Shinigami lived, lived through the angel held in his arms. She was giving him her life, her soul, her memories. Letting him and her fuse through their kiss.  
  
Instead of just seeing the life of a mortal play before him he was completely absorbed in it. The taste of ice cream in the summer, the touch of her mother, the smell of the flowers that she had put on her sisters grave……..the constant sound of the monitors beep in her final days. They became him, wrapped round his senses forcing them to accept concepts, ideas, sensations he could not even have begun to imagine.  
  
Then he moaned as he felt something else, her agony, the suffering she had endured from years of being ill, she'd hurt so much yet her anguish had been over him. Then a miracle occurred, for the first time the Shinigami wept. Scalding streaks of salt trickled over his frozen cheeks, as he held tighter to the girl who had given him a heart, let him feel, live. He cried for the billions who had died, he cried for himself but most of all he cried for the loss of his angel. He was alone.  
  
He laid her back on the bed, her body all ready growing cold from Shinigami's kiss. Her final thought of peace and love at her freedom, he held tight to as if to keep her alive within himself. He gazed at her, this fragile vessel that had held one so strong and let the tears spill onto the sheets, shimmering stars of sadness glistening under the fluorescent lights  
  
Behind him the monitor let out a high pitched cry of anguish as her lifeline flattened. He paid little attention to the doctors and nurses who began to fill the room, their hands a blur of activity, i.v's inserted, crash units wheeled in, all a hopeless dance to save a life already over.  
  
He turned and walked through them, a nurse calling out to raise the temperature  
" It's like a morgue in here she needs to be kept warm" she growled, begging c.p.r on the angels broken form  
He brought his finger to his icy lips and rubbed the flesh that still burned  
With her touch.  
  
He picked up his scythe from the floor and turned it over in his hands, his weapon, his sentence. He stroked his finger along the blade and felt pain, human pain….this blade was meant to end that pain. He stared back at his reflection in its metallic surface. Frowning at the puffy red eyes and the anguished expression etched there. He was not Shinigami, that reflection did not belong to the cold indifferent god.  
  
" No more" he whispered, he swung the scythe one last time, before it crashed to the ground silently its blade shot crimson with the blood of a god.  
  
No one saw the young braided child slip from the dead girls room that night, nor did they see the scythe he left behind on her darkened floor, it's radiance dying before it faded away. He slipped away unnoticed onto the streets of l2, hungry, cold, alive.  
  
That night death died and a child was born………..duo howled at the memory.  
  
" SETSUNA!!!!!" And the river of pain dragged him on.  
  
  
Elspeth chang wytches cavern -htpp://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk  
  



	9. chapter 9 -only when i sleep

The clouds hung heavy across the midnight sky, weighed down by the torrent of rain that was now mercilessly drilling the grounds of the winner estate. The air tingled with electricity and the distant growling hinted that a storm was waiting like a great beast on the horizon.   
  
  
Within the household, like little children the occupants slept the sleep of the dammed. The quiet of the hour disturbed by the desperate moans of   
  
"Quatre no…stay don't leave me…..QUATRE!!"  
  
  
Heero halted outside Trowa's door at the sound of the pilots whimpering. Unsure of what to do he shifted uneasily on the squeaky wooden floor, nervously chewing his lip in hesitation.   
  
The bed thumped against the wall as Trowa tossed fitfully in his sleep, his fists twisting the pale cotton sheets in his hand into little knots. Sweat began to bead his forehead, little droplets of guilt as for the thousandth time Trowa relived Quatre's death, his lips feverishly chanting   
  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry"   
  
Over and over like a prayer.  
  
  
Across the darkened hallway light spilled from beneath the taller boys door, as for yet another night since Quatre's death Trowa was sleeping with the light on, letting it's weak luminescence's serve as his companion for the night in his angels absence.  
  
Heero's cobalt gaze shifted to the heavy panelled door on his right, Trowa was suffering..it…it was not good for the mission. That is the only reason he cared he told himself…I'm not going soft this is for the mission. He told himself, his insides twisting as Trowa screamed again. With this comforting lie firmly in place he reached out, his hand palming the knob, ready to go in and try to comfort the boy.   
  
From the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of a tiny light dancing across the shadows on the opposite wall. He looked round for it's source, his eyes probing the darkness and his hand withdrawing from Trowa's door and moving reflexively to his gun.  
  
  
As he did so he felt a faint weight bounce off his chest, looking down he saw duo's crucifix had fallen out of his vest and was swinging freely against his breastbone. He glanced once more at the tiny light skittering across the hall and realised it was only the light from Trowa's door reflecting off the cross. Growling he grasped the scrap of gold and went to return it back down his top where it would lie against his heart once more.   
  
But as his fingers closed round the cool metal he was reminded once more why, like some restless spirit he was up prowling the halls instead of sleeping, as he should in his bed……Duo.  
  
  
His calloused fingers rubbed the pendant absently as he looked at Trowa's door once more. Shaking his head, He turned away from Trowa's room and continued down the hall, tucking the cross safely away as he did so.   
  
No what good would he be to Trowa, how could he tell him everything would be alright when inside he himself felt as if his soul had been torn away. His heart and soul had frozen as he'd watched the braided boy walk off that battlefield, no longer the friend he'd come to know but something far more dangerous. That thing had not been duo Maxwell, whatever it was it had taken his friend, taken him far away and Heero wanted him back.  
  
  
Silently he opened the door and stepped out into the rain. The downpour quickly plastered his dark bangs to his head and began tracing icy rivulets down his back. He paid the cold little attention though, hunching his shoulders against the veil of tears, he began walking out into the night air, he needed to think, to beg, to pray, to pray for his soul, to pray for duo Maxwell.   
  
he knew where he was walking, he'd gone there many times over the past few days, it had become a quiet place to think...peaceful in a morbid way. very few people went into this part of the estate and the ground while still tended had a wild lost look about it...it suited his mood.  
  
He glared down at his reflection, his cold blue eyes staring back at him from the slick path beneath his feet.  
  
  
" I was not meant to feel…you made me love him," he growled as overhead the first real peals of thunder roared. He clenched his fists, raising his eyes heavenward   
  
"You knew this would happen, knew what he'd mean to me and you'll just leave me here alone AGAIN!! NO NOT AGAIN!! I WANT DUO MAXWELL BACK!!" he roared at the sky. The thunder roared once more as if in reply and Heero's face appeared in human for a second as it became bathed in glow from the lightning racing through the clouds above.  
  
  
Angry the Japanese pilot fisted the cross round his neck and broke it free, holding it high above his head.   
  
" You owe me!" he growled suddenly becoming calm. The air became still and a faint breeze tugged at his green tank top and stirred faint strands of hair.  
  
  
" Bring him back…I'll pay the price" he whispered, turning away and clasping the cross round his neck once more.   
  
No answer was given and none was needed, the perfect solider stood and looked up at the stars through the parting clouds with a penitent look.  
  
  
" Father forgive me for I has sinned" he murmured, then exhausted, his legs suddenly gave way and he slipped into unconsciousness, sprawled across the marble slab beneath his feet, for the first time in days Heero Yui slept. He slept on the grave of Quatre Rebarba Winner, under the gentle gaze of a marble angel.  
  
  
  
  
  
wytches cavern http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk 


	10. chapter 10-heal me

It's been a long time coming I hope I haven't lost it * hugs* ele (for mew and phour)  
  
  
Duo was cold, a burning numbing pain tingling from his knees and dancing like electricity up his spine causing his body to shudder violently. As his torso convulsed again he wondered if this was what he felt like to others, was he now dying? Was this what death felt like? But the sensation was too sharp, to real, the pain he felt proved he was very much alive, and as he blinked his pale violet eyes upon the glaring white landscape he suddenly wished, wished with what little of a soul he had left that he was dead instead.  
  
Pale feather soft flakes caressed his cheeks and clung to his pale lashes before melting into icy tears as duo raised his eyes to the oppressive grey sky overhead. The wind whistled down the dirty back alley where he sat knelt in the snow, and tugged viciously at his thin clothes, driving another flurry of ice against his flushed cheeks, hot and puffy with crying.   
  
The braided child trembled again hugging himself and wailing, his body wracked by sobs as he laid his cheek upon the stiff form lying next to him in the snow. The dark haired child with the green eyes a blue frozen doll, held within the chilled stark embrace of the snow, his final resting place after a week of torment a broken back alley of a slum, his only mourner the boy he'd help to mould.  
  
" SOLO!!!!" screamed duo, beating his fist off the ground " solo I got it I got it you can't leave me!! He pleaded desperately shaking the empty vessel beside him, his breathing ragged and desperate. With numb blueing fingers he fumbled in his shirt, pulling out a shiny glass vial, and holding it with infinite care eased the stopper from it.  
" See ..Here's the medicine it'll make ya all better you'll see you'll be well again!!" he babbled cradling the older boys head and brushing the snow from the blue mouth with gentle care, "drink this you'll be better" he whispered pouring the liquid across the darker haired boys lips.  
  
The vials precious fluid dribbled from the corner of solo's lips trailing yellow rivulets down his white face and sinking into the snow. His emerald eyes remained fixed, staring blankly into the distance as if already looking into the next world, the spirit, the fire, the life that had been friend and mentor to duo was gone, solo was dead and duo was alone  
  
" NOOOOOOOOOO!!" Screamed duo, loneliness seeping through him, chilling him in a way the cold never could. He clutched his friends body to him sobbing openly, rocking backwards and forwards as if mealy setting a child to sleep.  
" No can't leave me..Not again, can't die, can't die,……too much death, so much death not shinigami no more not, I'm not, come back, please come back, please come back" he whispered feverishly over and over into his friend hair. Until his anguish dimmed to a hoarse wail and his eyes burned.  
  
Darkness fell, the alley lit by the dimming neon lights of a bar, it's faint glow casting a ghostly hue upon the scene and still duo sat, body and mind numb, his lips moving with soundless pleas, his eyes red and raw gazing blankly at the reeking dumpster across from him, seeing but not seeing, and deep within him his mind twisted, tortured telling himself over and over that it was just a memory, just the past, the past couldn't hurt him, it was the river of pains tricks. But that was the point, the memory hurt as real as if he were still there, the shame, the loss the guilt, cut him deep. He wanted to escape, he wanted to die.  
  
" Ya really gotta stop this self torture buddy, it's not good for either of us ya know" duo froze within the memory, a voice he'd not heard in so long ringing out across the alley and echoing off the flaking brick walls. His head snapped up, his mouth open in shock as his eyes probed the darkness. Sat on the dumpster smiling at him and bathed in a Luna glow was solo, he glanced down at the corpse in his arms then back at his friend's grinning face beyond confused, this hadn't happened, this wasn't his memory. The dark haired boy jumped down and walked towards his friend, his feet leaving the snow still pristine and perfect behind him free from footprints.  
  
" H..How? What? You're dead!!" whispered duo his eyes never leaving solo as he shone through the twilight, instinctively his grip tightened on the corpse In his arms, as he flattened himself against the alley wall as solo drew near.  
  
" Ya honestly think I could rest in peace with you in so much pain duo?" He murmured kneeling by duo and tilting his chin up to look at him. Violet pools stared back into narrowed emerald. As solo gently took duo's arms from around the corpse, his touch warm and comforting, not cold like duo had expected. He desperately clung to solos hands shaking, scared that if he broke contact he'd disappear and he'd be left in the alley alone again.  
  
The older boy looked around, his thumbs absently rubbing the back of duo's hands trying to soothe the scared child in front of him, before his gaze sadly fell on the corpse again, his fingers reaching out and closing the eyelids on the glassy green stare  
" Duo….is this all you keep of me? Years together and this is the only memory of me you hold inside yourself? An empty cold corpse and a lot of pain?"  
  
The death scythe pilot looked away biting his lip as the tears fell again, his bangs hiding his face in shadow as his mouth filled with a raw coppery taste and eyes stung from the burn of the salt  
" How can I let myself forget?" he chocked hoarsely "it's my fault ya dead" he hissed, " you shouldn't even be talking to me"   
  
Solo looked pained, his hand reaching out to his friends shoulder before he stopped himself and let it fall limply back in his lap,  
" Duo?" the pilot didn't answer, unable to meet his friends gaze, one more friend he'd let down, one more person he'd watched die, but solo would not let the silence pass   
" Shinigami" he whispered. It worked the boys head jerked up, his face cold and stony his voice tinged with bitterness  
  
" That's right solo call me what I am …death call me what I really am shinigami the soul gatherer, the shadow walker the unloved"  
" I loved you," whispered solo stopping the boy dead. Duo looked back in shock as solo pulled him closer, his face a frozen mask of disbelief beneath bathed in white from the moon as the corpse to slide from his knee  
  
" Duo you don't kill people, people kill people, you just took then home. You didn't kill me…the alliance did, sister Helen, father Maxwell, all were killed by them, it's a war people do die my friend. You could of given up but you decided to fight, fight for all the children on the colonies, all the duo maxwells and solo's, all the orphans, with no family, I was big brother to you…you are big brother to a planet. " Solo pulled away and cradled duos face in his hands brushing his tears away from his pale cheeks with his thumb " you don't bring death, you may be shinigami but now you are also duo Maxwell buddy, fighter for the colonies …and duo Maxwell brings life not death, I consider myself lucky to call duo Maxwell my friend"  
  
The scene around them changed as the pain and guilt within duo cracked, he was duo Maxwell and thousands were depending on him to make the world a better place for them to live in, Quatre was counting on him, he was here to bring life to Quatre. The sky cleared overhead, grey breaking through to brilliant blue, the warm sun warming his frozen limbs as the slums of l2 flickered and broke into green field rolling as far as the eyes could see  
  
" This is where he's waiting for you buddy dun let him down" grinned solo getting up and hauling a dazed duo to his feet  
" This is what I keep of us in me, I think you could use it" he smiled linking fingers with duo and shutting his eyes, duo smiled, a real smile, not a grin, or a smirk but the smile of true peace and happiness. Golden light danced across his eyelids his soul thawing and sounds of laughter filled his ears, feeling of trust, friendship care but above all love swam through him, the last gift solo had to give.   
  
Duo opened his eyes " but…how?" he asked, eyes wide as he glanced round the fields of Elysium, this wasn't what the river of pain should be, he should be in torment. His friend shrugged and grinned mischievously ruffling his chestnut bangs affectionately  
  
" Lets just say you have friends down here…. and an angels calling you home" duo turned back confused " an angel?" his brow wrinkled as he gazed at solo bewildered. The boy just winked " you'll see buddy you'll see, now show em what my friend is made of get going street rat" duo opened his mouth to protest but was silenced as solos lips locked with his, sending warmth flooding through his body as rushing filled his ears, the waters of the river around him once more.  
  
  
  
Duo hauled himself out onto the bank panting, gulping the air like a starving man, but for all the pain his lungs were now giving him, for all his mouth tasted vile and his skin was sticky with blood, he felt happy, alive. His eyes held a new calm and focus   
  
Duo was dispassionate to the symphony of anguish that assaulted his ears as he made his way along the narrow path that ran through the molten river of fire and blood. It's crimson glow a gory contrast to the pale blue luminescence that had shone from the river of souls he had left behind.  
  
His eyes looked neither right nor left as he stalked along the walkway, the black flames of the shinigami seemed to deaden his senses to the suffering around him. It wrapped round his heart sealing it from the misery on all sides.  
  
Tartarus was much like the mirrors in a fun house, look at something long enough and it will shift and change, the scene round duo was constantly changing, moulding itself round the minds of it's occupants.   
  
Tartarus tormented you by giving you you're worst night mare made real…your own personal hell. Your deepest fears ripped out of your head and made flesh for you to live for all eternity.   
  
With every step duo walked deeper into the madness of fear. Mortal fear, jealous fear, violent fear, fears of failure, ridicule, death, the unknown, these were the masters of Tartarus.   
  
But duo was the lord of the underworld, prince of Tartarus…he had strength within his heart and his soul was now at peace with his past. Inside he was healed, for the first time in year's guilt was not shackled round his heart. He was ready to fight, ready to face his father, ready to rescue Quatre.  
  
Duo wasn't afraid anymore. He raised his head and levelled his gaze on the mirror in front of him, a vast shifting surface of silver…  
" Face your worst fear" he whispered, the wall of tears was the last obstacle of Tartarus and the worst, face your worst fear and yourself in it's glassy surface, his eyes met his own and the misty surface cleared.  
  
Heero lay dead, a limp body on a ground stained red, his cobalt eyes frozen in a look of shock, betrayal and profound sadness. His bloodless lips, half open as if to utter a final word to his killer who stood over his fragile corpse, Heero's still beating heart clutched in his fist. Duo's eyes met the killers, violet and violet locked, duo was the killer, and he was laughing.   
  
His head was tipped back shaking with insane glee, his white fangs glinting like tiny shards of ivory in the moonlight that fell across both of them; it's pale light glinting off the dripping blood of the perfect solider. The killer looked at duo with shadowed eyes as he flapped his black leathery wings and licked his lips  
  
" This is what you'll be,…. what you are" he hissed gleefully, dragging Heero up by the hair and smirking at his handiwork, a fist size hole in the Japanese boys chest where the heart had once dwelt but now was just a bloody pulp of ripped muscle, shattered bone and blood.  
  
" You kill him, kill them all and you'll enjoy it" his reflection chuckled walking towards duo with predatory grace, it's chestnut braid whipping back and forth with a life of it's own like a viper.  
" You're wrong " growled duo, meeting his counterparts icy gaze " by the fact you disgust me it proves I'll never be you,…you aren't real…none of this is real and ya just another parlour trick to stop me from reaching Quatre" he snapped, with a feral snarl he punched the mirror. It's surface rippled before shattering into tiny droplets of crystal and exploding outward silently.  
  
Duo shielded his eyes until the last fragment brushed past his ear cutting the delicate skin. On the other side of where the mirror, stood the bridge to the palace of Hades, home and his father. As his foot touched the arched bridge over the bottomless canyon he caught the faint sound of rustling wings above him. He looked up just as a slender female figure landed grace fully in front of him; duo quickly took in her appearance.  
  
She twisted her scarlet lips into a seductive smile and she stalked over to duo, her shapely hips swaying fully as she walked. Duo remained impassive at the beauties obvious attempt at seduction as he continued to study the long limbed woman.   
  
Physically she was perfect, her waist small, her breasts large. Her creamy pale skin a stark contrast to her midnight wings folded on her back and the black leather scraps she wore for modesty. But something about her, some essence she gave off was anything but beautiful. She stopped inches from his face and narrowed her amber eyes as she pushed a glossy strand of waist length blonde hair from her face.  
  
" Long time no see lover, " she purred seductively  
" Pandora" he hissed  
  
WYTCHES CAVERN the home of Elspeth http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk 


	11. Chapter 11- rebirth

" I knew you'd come back to me baby" she purred, pouting sweetly and leaning forward, reaching out shapely arms to him.  
"Don't"  
Duo's eyes remained ice as he seized her wrists lightly bringing her up short. Hazel widened in surprise as the woman flinched before composing herself once more, jerking her hands free of duo's iron grasp and studying him through heavy lidded eyes.  
  
Taking a step back a hungry smile seemed to crawl across her features, tossing her head she slid her cool delicate hands up over duo's lean chest, licking her lips.  
" Playing hard to get lover?" she whispered, pressing against him and letting her lips ghost his ear lightly as she snaked her arms round his tense shoulders.  
  
" You want me," she breathed, her vermilion lips tracing slow searing kisses down duo's neck  
  
The god of death smirked as he leaned against her, licking her ear gently, making her shiver before growling softly, deep within his throat   
" Pandy I never wanted you! I was just bored, bored of a not life and desperate for any sensation I could get "  
  
The harpe froze, eyes flashing molten silver as her claws ripped from their sheath in temper, hot needles pricking her skin in rage as she gauged bloody grooves down his back. Her previously pouting lips now twisted in fury as she shrieked  
" YOU LOVE ME!! …ME!!"  
  
Her face contorted, the smooth white flesh giving rise to scales, the skin rippling and taking on a serpentine appearance. Unfazed and unimpressed Duo chuckled darkly, breaking her grasp; he pushed past the furious demon  
  
" I didn't even have a heart, how could I love ya? " he murmured, before turning his face to hers, letting his lips nearly brush her own before adding  
" I love now though, but it ain't you babe"  
"All men love me," she hissed glaring at the gods back. She still wanted him, the dark seductive death god she remembered. But she had no power over him now; it was as if a warm protective shell had been cocooned round his mind and heart, blocking her cold manipulative charms. She hated to admit it, but for all he now held mortal form duo was somehow stronger.  
  
He just shrugged, causing his braid to shiver and continued to walk away from the creature  
" I'd consider a career change then babe, cuz ya ain't that good" he paused briefly, the glimmer of sadistic glee shinning deep within those violet depths, before adding innocently  
" Or maybe ya just getting old"  
  
The feral scream was almost ear piercing as the harpy lunged, bringing her right hand, down hard across his back. Her claws biting deep into the flesh and drawing scalding rents through the delicate layers of tissue, scraping the back of his ribs with a stomach churning, grating noise.  
In shock duo could do little more than suck in his breath violently, the agonising scream dying within his throat as he struggled to breathe. Her little finger had gashed the soft mass of his lung, even now bubbles gurgled within the blood issuing from the wounds on his back as he fell forward chocking, already drowning within his own crimson warmth.  
  
Pandora stalked over to his fallen form, a scowl marring her elegant brow.  
" I was told to bring you back to the fold or in pieces Shinigami" she snapped, placing delicate hands on her ample hips " my way would have been more fun" she growled, drawing back her foot and aiming a savage kick at his ribs, channelling all the fury of her wounded pride into the blow.  
  
" Duo" her croaked, coughing as he caught her foot and wincing as the impact jarred his damaged body. He glared up from the floor with venom filled orbs at the harpy before adding with more determination  
" My name is Duo Maxwell"  
" Your name is death, once who you were, now just what you're going to be," she snapped, jerking her foot free and making him sprawl in the dirt more.  
  
Stepping back a little as duo got slowly to his feet, she gestured in the air, pulling a sickle from nowhere, turning and impaling it into his shoulder. With malicious glee she twisted it brutally, rasping once more heard as steel scraped over the bone. Causing him the shudder violently, a blood sweat beading his forehead, streaking his bangs red.  
  
This time the scream came, despite the pain that shot through his lungs, the agony was too great to stay silent as the demon used the blade to try and pry Duo's shoulder blade from his body.  
  
But the cry called forth with it protection. As his human body began to die, his control over Shinigami slipped, the essence surged up from deep within him, exploding outwards in ebony fire, throwing Pandora away with neck breaking force.  
  
" I dun die so easy Pandy" he laughed maliciously, his voice rich like chocolate as he watched the dazed harpe, rise to her feet, through cold obsidian eyes.  
  
" Just as long as you fucking die" she screamed, tossing aside the sickle and running head long at duo, an axe brandished high in her slender hands, her mind set on decapitation.  
  
He didn't move, he waited, cat like till the last moment before raising his hand, a chalky hue creeping across his flesh. His fingers closed round what had been thin air, but was now the symbol of his power, the scythe, it's blade still glowed red from his own blood spilled at Setsuna's bedside.  
  
Once Pandora was close enough he swung it down and round, knocking her and the axe away to one side before turning and spinning the scythe between experienced fingers, a shadowy look brooding about his eyes.  
  
He met her gaze, cold and annoyed as she circled him like a vulture round a rotting corpse.   
  
The underworld was at war; blow for blow the sound of metal on metal rang through out the yawning caverns of death like thunder. The darkness punctuated by screams, snarls and vicious cursing in their native ancient Greek  
  
The gloom became as day, lightening arching from their weapons and grounding in the others body. Illuminating, blood drenched bodies, panting frames that had become walking dictionaries of wounds, each a testimony to the others violence.  
  
Pandora was loosing, demon she may be but duo was a god in flesh, Even as a human he was formidable. In desperation she spat in his face making him stumble back shaking his head. There was powerful venom contained within her saliva, it caused his eyes to burn, his vision wavering in front of him.  
  
" Now kneel," she hissed triumphantly, delicate beads of poison hanging from her fangs. Without warning she thrust her hand deep into his abdomen, shredding the soft warm, beating organs. Raking through the network of veins, she sent a warm shower of living blood over her milky skin.  
  
Duo's eyes widened as he fell to his knees, hiccupping in an attempt to breathe. From the corner of his eyes, tears of pain and failure drawing pale tracks through his blood marred cheeks, as he fell face first into the dirt. As he did so the barely audible whisper of   
" Heero" passed his lips before the last of his humanity spilled onto the ground beside him from his blueing mouth into a sparkling pool.  
  
Pandora giggled insanely, her hazel eyes shinning as she licked his blood from her fingers with all the enjoyment of chocolate, not missing a single drop with her pale pink tongue. With twisted pleasure she listened to the sound of duo's heart straining to live even as it slowed, and slowed, and stopped.  
  
Duo Maxwell was dead, a braided child, alone in the land of the dead, face down in his own blood, on the doorstep of his father.  
  
"DUO!" the voice of raw fear shattered the early morning still, a cry of agony ripped from the soul as Heero collapsed on the floor of the shower. Clutching his chest in pain, gulping air, as the tightness round his heart increased. His own anguished howls mingling with the steady beat of the shower, raining indifferently upon the prone boy, sprawled beneath it.  
  
Duo was dead. Ask him how he knew and if he could of formulated words he would of replied, how do you know if your leg becomes amputated? There is unbearable pain, and you realise part of you is gone and you'll never be whole again.  
  
" IIE YOU PROMISED!" he screamed, black tears streaking his face, as he lay trembling on the ground.  
" YOU PROMISED" this time his voice was not human; it resounded out from another world. He raised his head; his dark bangs dripping water onto his hands, as he glared opaque white eyes into thin air. His grip denting the bath, the metal buckling beneath his fury with a tortured groan.  
  
"I will pay, " he hissed, wincing as Duo's crucifix began to burn his chest, raising blisters and scaring the skin in an angry purple. Through Duo's dead eyes he saw Pandora stalking off, her honey hair rippling behind her. He didn't understand where Duo was, he didn't know who the woman was but it didn't matter to him.  
  
" Live" he whispered desperately " use me". Closing Prussian eyes, he felt ice slipping through his veins, chilling him to the core, the cold hand of death fastening onto his life force and pulling at it as he gave himself to Shinigami. Death rose again.  
  
Like waves the muscles along duo's back rippled, rising and falling, what little skin remained to cover the bloody sinews, strained as if something was trying to push it's way out from beneath the surface. His fingers twitched, an eerie glow shinning in the night from his vacant dead eyes.  
  
Bones began the crack and realign throughout his body, silently he rose up, arms outstretched, tiny black spikes protruding from his dripping, gored back. The unholy scream he let loose echoed across the cavern, black forms exploding from his back, flooding the ground with his blood, throwing the quaking boy to his knees gasping.  
  
At the noise Pandora turned, her narrowed eyes wide with fear as Shinigami grinned up at her sadistically, his fangs clearly visible as the leather rags on his back unfurled.  
  
The blood across the ground began to move as if alive, droplet-to-droplet, rivulet-to-rivulet, flowing into each other and back up his arms, legs and face. Pouring back into his body as the wounds healed like closing mouths.  
  
Standing with feline grace, the blood began to rush down the spidery veins threading the leathery surface of his wings. As the tubules fattened the wings became stiffer, framing the gods body in clawed vampiaric elegance. He wasn't human, he wasn't alive, and he was the Shinigami, living by his own power and the stolen sliver of life from Heero. Duo Maxwell was dead but Shinigami lived.  
  
  
The harpe purred excitedly, her eyes roaming his body hungrily  
" You're back?"  
" Yes Pandy I'm back" he smirked, stretching out his muscles before rising off the ground with a beat of his wings. His face then turned harsh and stony as he added  
" You wanted me back? I'm here bitch, time to pay the reaper" he enjoyed seeing the colour drain from her cheeks as she stumbled back, shaking her head and screaming.  
"NO"  
  
Darkness seemed to gather round the god; with a gesture he seized from the air a black hourglass. Silver sand ran like a river through its narrow neck, while on the base in cold fire burnt the name PANDORA.  
  
He landed swinging it casually in one hand, watching with amusement as Pandora knelt before him, trembling, her hair curtaining her face.  
" Forgive Me," she whimpered, clutching his leg desperately, with open disgust he kicked her off.  
" Forgive ya? You killed and drove insane millions, visited immeasurable suffering on man and you want forgiveness?" shin sneered at her " what do I look like a priest?" he smirked laughing darkly " ya just killed that part Pandy. I am Shinigami, god of death and this was your life," he whispered, raising his hand and smashing the glass into crystal shards on the rocks below.  
  
She went to save it, spreading her wings; she went to scream, but most of all she went for his throat. She never managed any of these however because as the glass fractured, she ceased to be. Her body dissolving in front of him like ghostly mist.  
  
" Ashes to ashes, dust to dust " he hissed through clenched teeth bitterly, he was back to being that which he'd tried so hard to leave behind. With glowing eyes he turned to the monstrous iron doors at the entrance to the palace of Hades  
  
" Quatre"  
  
Brandishing the scythe like a warrior he smashed it off the omega symbol scorched into the panels, flinging the doors wide, nearly twisting them off their hinges in rage.  
  
He cared not for the high arched beauty of the palace he stormed through. His feet beat out an angry tattoo across the black marble floor, his mind locked solely upon the blonde cherub. His boot heel made short work of the throne room doors, the wood splintering under his assault, the occupier seemingly unmoved by the aggressive entrance into his home.  
  
Hades turned to Shinigami slowly, removing the great horned crown of the under world from his brow as he reclined back against the throne of blackened bones and granite, an amused look on his face.  
  
" Ahhh the prodigal son returns and see how disrespectfully he treats the king of this realm" he chuckled deeply at the furious death god, his black eyes still shining dangerously.  
" And to what do we owe the pleasure?" he continued  
  
Shinigami glared, tossing the scythe at Hades feet and striding over to the throne, gripping the arms tightly, his knuckles going white in temper as he hissed through clenched teeth.  
" Cut the bull shit dad, where the hell is Quatre?!"   
  
  
  
To see the picture of this scene go to http://www.kjkemp.fsnet.co.uk/images/shinigami_rebirth.jpg  
It's worth it believe.  
Elspeth Chang WYTHCES CAVERN HTTP://WWW.KJKEMP.FSNET.CO.UK 


	12. chapter 12 father

"Gotta cut away, clear away,  
  
Slip away and sever this,  
  
Umbilical residue  
  
Keeping me from killing you"  
  
"Let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor,  
  
Let the bodies hit the FLOOR"  
  
Fear is an odd thing, it roots us to the spot when we should run and sends us blindly fleeing when we should stand our ground. Shinigami told himself it was determination that held sway over him not his little boy fear. As for an age the thunderous silence remained unbroken between them.  
  
Tension, loathing, mistrust and steely cold hate, hung in the air like floating fragments of their mortal lives. Their taste bitter and acidic in Shinigami's mouth, as fresh and as palatable now, as it had ever been.  
  
With a gentle creak of leather, Hades leaned forward slightly. Narrowing, Burning eyes at his son, from between the curtain of black silk that was his hair, he gave a cold disdainful detachment. The young god of death gritted his teeth, desperately pleading with himself not to look away. To run scared from his father's wrath as he had a thousand times over as a child.  
  
Taking a steadying breath into lungs that no longer needed air, he grasped a hold of his rapidly fleeting anger with both hands. using its venom, to warm his blood and glare back for once into the fathomless churning depths of Hades eyes, with the cold fury only the wronged can muster.  
  
"GIVE HIM BACK" he growled shaking, his voice calm yet laced with malice and thinly veiled emotion. At his words the gathering shadows that were oozing across the floor trembled, slithering round him in a protective shell. Dripping from his wings, they showed fragments of a thousand worlds, the souls of the dead, an unseen army behind their master. But their cold wraith like support, failed to impress the sire of the damned.  
  
Curling his lip faintly in disgust, he glanced down at his sons faintly trembling arms, and stood. The sudden movement caught Shinigami off guard, he staggered back off the throne steps, his feet fighting to hold their grip on the highly polished marble, as it became like ice beneath his boots. Falling, his head cracked off the glassy black floor hard, light exploding in his head. His unfocused eyes finding his fathers voids looking down at him. As he stepped gracefully over Shinigami's prone form.  
  
"Do not come in here making demands Shinigami, you forget yourself. I am your father, lord and god. I'll do what I want, when I want " turning and looking over his black armoured shoulder at his dazed son, he added with venom " to whom I want, even you my little Shinigami "  
  
"Especially me" shot back his child, child? Is that what Shinigami was? Child? son? God? Boy? He wasn't even sure himself anymore. Not a god, not a human, duo Maxwell had died back at Pandora's feet, yet his ghost could still be seen looking back through Shinigami's eyes. Blood dripped from his split lip, but he shouldn't be able to bleed. All wrong and upside down, the only certainty, Quatre was dead, Quatre was his friend and this demon looming over him had caused it. He had no right, he was Shinigami, and death was all he had.   
  
On jellied limbs he stood, the scythe a crutch beneath him, to be greeted by cold laughter.  
  
"Oh art thou so wronged Shinigami? Is it so unfair? Life is unfair, you ran off to play mortal, you should of learnt this lesson by now "  
  
He remained silent, head bowed slightly, hiding his fury filled eyes, the lashing braid the only outward sign of anger as he quelled the growl growing in his throat. His sense of satisfaction increasing as he sensed his father, growing irritated at his lack of response.  
  
Pacing, he rounded on the youth seizing his chin in iron cold fingers, Shinigami's cheek blossoming into bruises beneath their pressure, as his father raged.  
  
"DID YOU THINK OF HOW UNFAIR IT WAS ON YOUR MOTHER?!!! When you ran off to play vermin. To leave her here with only her own sobs to comfort her in these cold dark halls?!!" he let go, looking down his nose as Shinigami began rubbing the marks on his jaw, his words icy " you are a selfish brat Shinigami"  
  
"AND YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD" he screamed back, tears glistening in eyes, violet crystal in the candle light. The mere mention of his mother a painful shadow tearing at his memory. Swiping at his eyes he continued, bowing his head. "Did you think of mother when ya dragged her, RAPED HER down here in these "cold dark halls" to begin with?!!" he hissed swallowing, his throat suddenly dry, his voice raw with emotion.  
  
He didn't see his fathers hand move; he only felt that vice like grip closing slowly on his wind pipe as his feet left the floor. Hades stalked to the far wall, Shinigami hanging effortlessly from his outstretched hand, chocking as his feet thrashed vainly in midair for release.  
  
The underworld god bowed his head for a moment, his sculpted features hidden by shadows before slamming his son back into the black granite wall of the chamber. When he spoke his voice had taken on the chilling inhuman edge that had always been a prelude to violence in Shinigami's youth   
  
"She was to be my WIFE"  
  
Blood seeped from the back of the boy's head, its flow blurring his vision in a crimson haze, mimicking the rage he felt inside. Instead of fear all he could feel was anger  
  
"You tricked her into staying!! STARVED HER, DENIDED HER THE SUN! SHE DOESN'T BELONG WITH YOU!!"  
  
The hell lord flinched, briefly at the intensity of the words, practically tasting the loathing in them, before forcing his child back further into the stones embrace.  
  
"You are but a child, you know nothing of duty or of love Shinigami….but your lessons are beginning I feel"  
  
Not for the first time since coming home, Shinigami yet again tasted his own blood in his mouth. His fangs punctured his lip to keep from screaming as his wings were bent back in an unnatural angle, pinned between the rock and his own body.  
  
"I know if ya love someone set them free" he whispered, swallowing, trying to ease the grip round his throat  
  
"You didn't see what your freedom did to her"  
  
Pausing his struggles, he looked up into Hades emotionless eyes, guilt coiling and nipping in the pit of his stomach. He hadn't thought about what would happen to his mother when he left, so desperate had he been to escape. His fathers temper was vicious…..and he'd left his mother to it. Clenching his eyes shut he tried not see the images of Cerebus before him.  
  
"What did you do to her?" he whispered, barely able to voice his fears  
  
" oh the devoted son feels remorse, how touching, you'll remain here, now ill chain you in Tartarus I WILL NOT BE DEFIED BOY"  
  
" WHERE IS SHE?!!" Shinigami screamed, struggeling in earnest, ignoring the threats. He'd burned in the fires before, for 300 years he'd been chained in the molten rock. Till his mind was numb with agony and his skin a distant memory, he could do it again, for her he'd do it again.  
  
Still his father was silent, deep inside, at his core, the essence awoke. Howling in agony purple fire exploded out of every pore spiralling away possessed, it threw Hades across the room. Every pain he'd endured .every tear his mother shed, building the energy within him. as his hand picked up the scythe and ran at the heap of his sire.  
  
"Why wont you just die?!!" he screamed swinging,   
  
"Because you simply aren't strong enough to stop me…little Shinigami" his scythe, his power was ripped from his hand before his world exploded in light. The leather clad fist of Hades connecting with his temple sent him flying across the room. His head smacking sickeningly off the far wall before he slid down it in a defeated heap.  
  
The pain to his body didn't register, but inside he knew Quatre, his mother was lost. The umbilical cord bound him tight, he couldn't kill his father, and he was still at Heart a scared little boy. He barely felt the nails penetrate his limb, his father's rage condensing into steel stakes, crucifying him in place to suffer, to think, to remember who he was. As his blood spread across the floor, it mingled with his tears; no matter how far he came he was always powerless. Being nailed in the throne room couldn't hurt, he was dead inside already. No one cared, not for death; he resigned himself to his own personal hell as the black floor turned red in the life of death.  
  
Wufei awoke in darkness, he closed his eyes for a second, letting his senses realign with the rhythms of the earth before walking to the window silently, his skin not even rising in Goosebumps at the chill air. Something….someone has disturbed his coma like state, something nearly as ancient and strong as himself. Gazing out across the pitch black lawn, he made out the form of his gundam, field mice, beetles, moths, microbes, life to be sure but nothing out of the ordinary. Letting his eyes slide back into their reptilian state, he felt it…..an ancient power that had been both friend and enemy, inside the mansion, but, that was impossible.  
  
Turning on his heel, his mask back in place he followed it, past Duo's empty room, Trowa's, again the boy's dreams resting on his departed lover, the empty silence of Quatre's room b before he placed his hand on Heero's door. Here definitely this was where the presence was. Palming the icy door handle he eased it open, ready to confront an intruder. Instead he saw Heero, naked, on his knees, Duo's cross pressed to his forehead, his lips moving rapidly in a tongue no man had heard in millennia. The energy flowing from him spiralled, twisted and bucked before it slipped between the shadows into the world beyond.   
  
Suddenly the Japanese boy froze, turning to look over his shoulder, aware of a spy his blank white eyes glaring at the man behind him. He'd nearly finished his prayed; he could feel his lover stirring again, hope growing.  
  
"Nani" he barked letting his iris return to their intense blue  
  
Wufei shut Heero's door leaning against the wall, for once not hiding the ridges on his forehead the silver of his eyes focused on the shapes barely visible coming off Heero's back.  
  
"I know what you are Yui….i know who you are and I now know what you are doing ….you are raising the reaper and dabbling in a world not your domain"   
  
The pilot slipped the cross over his head getting up and pulling his jeans on before answering, his eyes locked on the floor struggeling to form words.  
  
"If you know what I am you know there is no choice, if you knew how I felt"  
  
" I do……..i just hope it's worth it tenshi, your master………is vengeful"  
  
"He's worth it ill paying the price………dragon" the Chinese man smirked, his secret told  
  
"We both ride the wind ill keep your secret, Maxwell is running out of time and I cannot help Yui I wish you luck…..but that is all."  
  
"HN oyasumi" with that he opened the door leaving no doubt he wanted to be alone. As Wufei left the dark haired boy collapsed on his bed, again reminded of how empty and cold it was, there should be another lying there curled into him holding tight. But the night was empty all he could do was hope someone up there liked him, or feared him. He hoped someone would listen to an angel's prayer.  
  
"Shinigami?" the voice was warm….sunlight in sound, soothing, loving as were the hands tending to his wounds, familiar.  
  
Shinigami opened his eyes slowly, a woman's face coming into view, worried yet beautiful, soft long chestnut hair laced in flowers, heart shaped face, wide blue eyes, arms that held him tight as a child. Swallowing he choked out the only thing he loved down in the land of the dead.  
  
"Mom?" 


	13. chapter 13 mother

A few brief disclaimers, I do not own "Gundam wing". Nor did I write the Greek myths I have spliced into this. Those of you wanting to know why Duo/Shinigami hates his fathers treatment of his mother should read the tale of "Persephone and the pomegranate" I do take credit for this incarnation of the pilots alter egos though and pics of them are available   
  
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So much he wanted to say, to ask, but words became knotted in his throat. A hoarse croak of emotion the only sound he could make.  
  
" Why must you always suffer so much, my poor Shinigami"?   
  
He lay there in her arms, indulging in a daydream of safety and innocence that had died long ago. The smell of spring clung to her hair as he pressed his blood caked face into it. The warm fragrance of flowers, fresh dew, and life. His arms tightened round her curved form, afraid to let go, his eyes fiercely clenched. To open them would mean the possibility of waking up and finding her, lost, dead, gone.  
  
" Mom forgive me I never meant to hurt you, I...I just couldn't live like this I wasn't living at all"  
  
His shoulders shook, the words spilling out desperate for her to understand. Before he finished her soothing hands were already stroking through his hair, wiping away the pain. Gentle fingers tilted up his chin as her other hand stroked his cheek.  
  
" Shinigami…"  
  
Reluctantly he opened his eyes, staring back into blue tranquil pools. He found himself falling, it was as if nothing else existed, the world fell away into the abyss and there was just him and her. That intense blue shifting between a clam ocean and a sunlit sky, dragging him to a place without pain and fear, where there was still hope where he could be strong. Those eyes so like another's, someone else he loved, with arms that made him feel safe.  
  
" Heero"   
  
No! He couldn't think of the wing pilot, it was another time, a world away, and the person whose memories these were was not him. Duo Maxwell was dead; his cold corpse fell at Pandora's feet. Bringing back the boys friend would be his last task he'd do before they dissolved away to be forgotten within the sands of time.  
  
" Shinigami what have you done?" the worried words of his mother shocked him from his thoughts.  
  
He focused properly on her room for the first time, before shielding his eyes from an intense blue white light. So violent was it, he felt his very eyes burn as it poured from the many mirrors and crystals on the walls and hanging from the ceiling. The dark night became day, rainbow colours dancing over them, fragmented through the crystals and making him and his more almost transparent. It held no heat, yet vibrated through him with a pure intense power he could almost remember, a distant dream.  
  
Starkly, his mothers face shone out as the energy collected in the centre of the chamber, a figure of pure light taking shape. Shinigami leant forward, hand outstretched towards it, eyes wide in disbelief.  
  
Pale slim fingers skimmed the crucifix round the forms neck, tracing the words it couldn't possibly hold.  
  
" May the lords arms forever hold me, safe to the heart of Maxwell church"  
  
He crossed himself, without thinking dropping to his knees, his face lifted up to the glow before him, his hand once more outstretched in desperation as the light wavered.  
  
" No wait, please don't leave me!!"   
  
He pleaded desperately, eyes shinning with pain he shouldn't feel. Glancing round frantically as wisps of light twisted round him, entering and filling him all the while disappearing. Pitching forward he buried his face in his hands, gasping in loneliness, whoever, whatever the light was searching for no longer lingered within him, all was left was the dark and loneliness. He did not feel the stones chill seep into his knees, or the searing pain as his wounds healed, numbness settled upon him.  
  
Throwing back his head he howled a requiem for his soul  
  
" DUOOOOOOO!!"  
  
As the final echo died, he threw himself into Persephone's embrace as she struggled to calm him.  
  
" Shinigami"  
  
" I'm a monster, like him, I tried so damn hard to fight it, the dark but I'm JUST LIKE HIM!!"  
  
"Shinigami"  
  
" I killed them all, even Duo, all his family and friends, they touched the reaper, all I can give is damn death!!"  
  
" Who is Heero Yui, Shinigami, what have you done as a mortal that has changed our very worlds so much?"  
  
The room was dark again; he'd changed the worlds? She stood, robes gossamer thin clinging to her as she ran her hand over the cross shattered into her mirror. Slowly she turned to him Quatre's face seeming to float in the icy pane.  
  
" You change your blood, you begin to feel, and you turn the immortal world upside down and have fallen in love Shinigami"  
  
Her smile glowed, illuminating the dank cold room again with her own brilliance.  
  
" You have grown up Shinigami, you are free and must follow that path now, no matter where it leads you and none will stand in your way. Never falter or fail and by whatever name you use and however you choose to live, know you are my son and I will always love you"  
  
The lump came to his throat as she held her arms wide. Deep in his heart, he knew, this was the last time he would ever see home. And as she held him in her arms, her breath stirring his hair, he mourned the loss keenly, for he would never again look upon Persephone, the woman who gave him life  
  
" Go before he returns"   
  
she tilted his chin up, soft velvety lips ghosting his forehead  
  
" Never doubt yourself, fight till your limbs will hold you no more and love till your heart breaks then you'll know what it is to live"  
  
Glancing fearfully over her shoulder she saw the air darken.  
  
" He is hunting you, we must hurry"  
  
" Mom."   
  
Her finger touched his lips silencing him drawing back a curtain in the back of the room, the air condensed showing green rolling fields, awash with flowers. They rolled onto forever, to a place where the daisies seemed to caress the soft white clouds rolling overhead. Streams danced through forests before slipping down waterfalls into the endless sea, sparkling in the afternoon sun. And across the land danced and played children, faces free of worry and care, while in the distance lovers lazed under trees heavy with fruit. She'd opened the door to Elysium for him and in the distance by a deep sun dappled pool sat a blonde angel, gazing at his own reflection. Quarte was but a minute from reach.   
  
He looked up into her eyes once last time, her own mirroring his as she whispered quietly, tenderly brushing the hair from his face.  
  
" Never forget who and what you are, you can do or be anything but remember to always be yourself"  
  
He awoke as if from a daze, stepping down into the grass and seeing her disappear, he'd tried to run and had invented Duo to hide in, but Duo was a mask and half formed, from a wish and a hope and Shinigami was a soulless shell. He had to be both sides of a coin, light and dark, and now he finally understood.  
  
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Heero looked up into the bathroom mirror, and barely recognised the reflection staring back. His eyes were dull, the dark circles he was used to but the dead vacant look in his sharp eyes was new. His hair hung dryly in his eyes and his strong tanned limbs seemed, stringy and had a faint tremor to them.  
  
He squinted through the steam of the shower, wiping the gathering moisture from the pane, growling in annoyance at the dark shapes hanging from his back.  
  
" Iie you can't have me yet"   
  
He snarled bowing his head and making them dissolve in a shower of lank black feathers. Glaring at the blazing figure in the mirror behind him he snarled.  
  
" Until you can beat me don't come down to give orders to me Michael, or omae o korosu, unless you want to challenge me now"  
  
He swung round on the empty cubical, his fist striking it's tiled surface, shattering the porcelain into the pattern of the cross, his blood oozing from his hand before swirling down the drain, in a vermilion whirlpool.  
  
" The pact is not complete, I pay when I'M satisfied and ready"  
  
" Who are you to order me little one?"  
  
Heero raised his head, framed once more by velvet midnight wings whispering.  
  
" Watashi wa tatakai no tenshi! I hate you! Koroshite yaru"  
  
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" I cry when angels deserve to die" System of a down " chop suey"  
  
Thanks to all the ppl who wrote I know I take forever to write and I'm so sorry, also thanks to the bottle of Chianti who's participation helped make this chapter possible. This isn't how I pictured "Shinigami" going blame Duo he's using me to write this.  
  
special thanks to ultra rodimus and bombayoni2, mew the fan girl japanese was put in just for you at least i only use it for japanese charas. 


	14. Chapter 14

It's been forever and for that all I can do is apologise and hope some of you still care enough to read. As most of you guessed, my pedigree lies in archaeology and mythology so there are a few references to Greek and roman hell beasts in this chapter. Enjoy, Ele. Dedicated to kei and my good friend scott mcneil

His worlds merged, and his thoughts melded, was he, duo, was he Shinigami? Did it matter? The tortured soul walked through a land he would never know, past people at peace, a feeling unknown to him. In what little heart remained he asked himself, did he have the right to tear Quatre from the paradise he'd found? The ignorance of bliss?

Such a gentle soul to be forced to war and now he could forget, he'd found contentment, yet Shinigami? Duo the destroyer had come to end that.

Under foot he crushed the daisies, flattered the grass, scorching the earth. Till he peered into the pool of forgetfulness, the reflection an animated spectre rippled before his eyes, neither taking the pain nor making the way clear for him.

Who was the mask in the water, the blank innocence? Duo Maxwell had died, and Shinigami ended at Setsuna's feet, this was a not being in the land of dead, Quatre did not even raise his head, buried deep in the comfort of numbness, the pool pulling away all memories leaving a blank angel by the water edge, absolved and untroubled. And as a smile tugged at the not Duo's lips he realised he'd become the devil , the tormentor, his pale hand taking the blondes shoulder, once more telling the boy his name , the name of a killer.

"Quatre……………wake up buddy"

The deep blue eyes stayed fixed on the ebbing blue water, a deep part of him escaping on its current, tears slipping over his tanned cheeks, wishing for the innocence he appeared, begging death to spare him.

But Shinigami had no pity and Duo was gone, the scythe was pulled from nothing, causing its owner to shudder, and drawing on a power belonging to Hades.

"Quatre, we can't both go, I have….to bring you…back"

Round the edges of his eyes the world fell, darkness rushing in as Duo, Shin the boy who was dead slashed his wrist, the scythe he'd forsaken slipping through his skin, opening up his veins, letting them weep their ruby tears down his pale arms.

"Quatre they need ya I can't go on ya gotta remember!"

The tears slipped to the ground, virgin green stained menstrual wine from the blood of a dead god.

"Quatre please drink ya gotta remember they need ya!"

The Arabians eyes followed the red stars on ivory, a starved look in the deep pools of blue, his tongue moistening his parched lips before slowly, gently, closing his mouth on the dead skin, absorbing the knowledge and pain of the hunted god. Taking the blood, deep to his soul, awakening the essence, the spirit of Quatre Rebarber Winner, the wraith reaching out for life through the blood of death. And live it did, pain, guilt, knowledge, beat suddenly deep within his core.

The repulsion of what he'd done rose deep within his psyche, the sky blue eyes focusing with new clarity with a scream, piercing the tranquillity of Elysium, shattering the contentment of eternity with the harsh reality of life.

"DUO!" Quatre howled, clinging to his friend, shaking, the battles, the blood, the anguish, ripping through him like a relentless tsunami, hammering his feeling back into life, crashing upon his conscious in a tide of woe and guilt.

In the after math, nought but a child holding his friend were left, a trembling shell left holding his mask of an acquaintance,

"Duo you can't leave us!"

Quatre dragged the slight corpse across the fields, to the mouth of night, towards life, and pain and……Trowa.

"TROWA I'M COMING"

In the distance, to his newly focused eyes was the door to Hades, the underworld, and the boy dragged his friend towards the dark. The yawning jaws of the abyss, with his memories crashing upon him with every step, and deep, deep within the dark another watched and waited and felt.

Hades saw the betrayal his son had visited upon him, he felt the ripples through his realm, knew the deception his wife had caused to hide Shinigami from him. And his anger knew no bounds, stirring from their slumber, he sent out assassins to stop Shinigami. From the pits of fire woke the hydra, from the depths of Tartarus woke the hundred handed hecatonchires and for the first time in millennia they left their posts, heading towards the tunnel of adamantine that led to the bronze wall of Hades and freedom.

Quatre half struggled into the tunnel, the braided god a dead weight in his arms, what troubled him was although the walls shone like black glass, there was no reflection in his arms.

"Duo…what in Allah is going on?"

The boy in his arms twitched, his lips parting to croak.

"Run for the light an' dun look back, they're coming"

"Duo I won't leave…….."

He trailed off glancing back, a soft hissing sound following them, like water dripping on a hot stove but done fifty times at once. His eyes widened, sweat beading his brow, as an Arabian snakes had never bothered him.

"The hydra Quatre"

Quatre watched as his friend dropped to his hands and knees, knuckles turning white gripping the scythe, his teeth gritted in a snarl. On liquid limbs he turned, eyes blank black watching as a writhing mass of scaled bodies filled the tunnel. Each decked with a head, cold jeweled eyes focusing on them, as hooked rib like fangs snapped at the air in front of them. 

"Quatre get the fuck outta here"

He yelled as he brought up the scythe, holding off the first off the hydras jaws. Grunting he felt the impact to his marrow, his insides jarring, as his feet skidded in the dirt against the coiled muscle of the hydra

I'm going to die, he thought to himself, here everything ends, but if Quatre can make it back to the light my jobs done, I can join oblivion in the acid of the hydras putrid gut. But he should have learned things like happy ever after did not apply to him, blocking the way ahead were the three hecatonchires, their hundred arms barring the light in a forest of hands. Again the hydra lunged, fangs sinking deep into his flesh, searing the skin with a fire hotter than Hades itself, as his conscious began to fade, and he peered through the darkness to his angel, glowing before him

"Let your time end Shinigami, death must be constant without it there is no life but its not your weight to bare let me take it!"

Her eyes burned, reaching out to him desperate to repay the debt she owed, the pale slender hand reaching out for him.

" no I wont let you become me"

He screamed as Quatre backed into him from the reaching hands before him,

" you don't have a choice give me the scythe Shinigami! Let yourself be free !"

" Setsuna NO!" 


End file.
